Royal Canadian Air Farce

Chrétien Commercial: Canada's newest vacation destination: Club Fed Grande-Mere. Canada Customs Search: Canada Customs only has eyes for foot and mouth. Mike Saves Aircraft: Mike from Canmore lands an airplane. Hedy Fry Apology: B.C. politician Hedy Fry attempts to apologize for her 'cross burning' remark. Larry King Interviews George W. Bush: Larry King asks about oil and gets a George W. Bush geography lesson. Another Hedy Fry Apology: Ooops, I did it again. Seasonal Affective Disorder: End-of-winter blahs leave a couple mad with S.A.D. A Final Hedy Fry Apology: Her last chance to get it right. Stockwell's News Conference: Stockwell Day has all the right answers, expecially since he's asking all the questions. Aphazard: Unwanted Solicitors: Professor Aphazard demonstrates how to prevent the most hated domestic pest - unwanted door salespersons. Chicken Cannon News: The Chicken Cannon reports on Nortel, U.S. Spy Plane in China; Slobodan Milosevic, foot and mouth di

News From Away # 2: Jimmy and Shamus continue their look back at the summer of 2000. Their list of topics include, O'Canada sung in schools, outlawing gangs in Montreal, rumoured merger between NDP and PC's, the start of the NHL season, and the re-release of the Exorcist. Olympic Moment - 100M Run: A couple of Canadians anxiously await the start of the 100 M finals. Clark's Return: Joe Clark returns to the House of Commons, a leader without a party. Synchronized Weightlifting: Synchronized weightlifters perform for the judges. PM's New Security Detail: Jean Chretien's new security team - the pie police. Brian Williams ""Time"": Brian Williams is left clockless in Sydney. Lobster Tales: More trouble in the New Brunswick lobster fishery - the lobsters get a lawyer. Gas Price: While filling up his car a customers temper rises faster than gas prices. Canadian Beer Commercial: Mike from Canmore makes a beer commercial. Valerie Pringle - Water: Ontario's water quality c

Wazzup, Chrétien?: Paul Martin calls Jean Chretien to see … wazzup!!? Jock McBile: Jock McBile rants about the renaming of Mt. Logan, drunk driving, Quebec language terrorists, Mike Harris' $200 tax rebate cheques, Air Canada profits, and the world's largest pumpkin. Sports Fans: Sports fans ponder the true meaning of life. CTV Newsnet: Milosevic's New Career: Slobodan Milosevic's new career includes the phrase - Do you want fries with that? Firearms License Registration: Gun owners discuss the government's new mandatory firearm licensing registration. Chicken Cannon News: Chicken Cannon News looks at Walkerton water, a Liberal web site linked to porn sites, Boris Yeltsin's memoirs, Stockwell Day, Harrison McCain, George W. Bush, and fires a shot at Slobodan Milosevic. Undercurrents: Mel Lastman: Wendy Mesley talks trash with Toronto mayor Mel Lastman. Ottawa Private Eye: An Ottawa Private Eye tries to decipher clues about the upcoming election.

Chrétien Plans Election: Jean Chrétien sizes up his election competition with Sheila Copps. Stockwell Day Commercial 1: Stockwell Day uses his granddaughter to explain our national debt. Air Canada: Air Canada president Robert Milton outlines his airlines motto - the customer always comes last. Walkerton Inquiry Highlights: The Walkerton inquiry is like a trip to Mexico - don't drink the water. Stockwell Day Commercial 2: Stockwell Day's tax plans are definitely squirrelly. ESL News: The English as a Second Language news team report on Brian Tobin, Alexa McDonough, the Auditor General Report, and Harry Potter. Confused Philosopher: The Confused Philosopher provides plenty of observation conversation Billy Two Willies: Election Preview: Billy Two Willies' election preview - party policy books are great for sending smoke signals. Bush & Gore on CNN: During a Presidential debate, Bush and Gore encounter tongue lash. Stockwell Day Commercial 3: Stockwell Day provides a ru

The Wendy Report: Wendy Mesley takes aim at the G-20 Summit, economist reacts to the Nortel plunge, Carlos Delgado re-signs, J.K. Rowling Book Reading, Roger Clemens' bat incident, Arson in Winnipeg, Beethoven vs. Keith Richards, Angela Lansbury, Wal-Mart Wine, and three political natural disasters. Bill Clinton Dials 976-Yassar: Yassar Arafat and Bill Clinton trade war stories about life in the Middle East and life with Hillary. Vote Clark: Joe Clark does a campaign ad from the woods but unlike Stockwell Day, he doesn't cut it. Election Update - B.S. 2000: Sandi Rinaldo from the Air Farce election center, B.S. 2000. Off The Record: TSN's Michael Landsberg talks sports and looks pretty. Girder Worker: A girder worker talks about Stockwell Day, Joe Clark, Brian Mulroney, Glen Clark, a Jean Chretien election issue, and a topless logging protester. Time Change: A couch potato discovers the toughest adjustment about Standard Time is resetting the clock on his VCR. Wendy's

News From Away: Jimmy and Shamus O'Toole report on the battle over MP Elsie Wayne's seat, Sault Ste. Marie robbery, Playstation 2, Ralph Klein's cuts, NDP campaign song, Paula Jones in Penthouse, election point - counterpoint, and seasonal pregnancies. The Cursing Nun: Sister Bonaventure has a few choice words about rapper Eminen's Toronto performance. Chrétien's Campaign Commercial: Jean Chretien shoots a new TV commercial. Nortel Stock Shock: Nortel stocks send investors off the deep end. Election Update - B.S. 2000: B.S. 2000 features up to the moment election analysis. Smoke In Chretien's Plane, Brian Tobin As Oil Slick, Red Book 3, Rollerblading Stockwell, Clark Losing In Own Riding, Phone Poll, McDonough Speech Highlights, Vox Pop Predicts NDP Majority. Member for Kicking Horse Pass: The member of Parliament for Kicking Horse Pass, the Honourable David J. Broadfoot addresses his constituents concerns. Stockwell in Church: Stockwell Day sings and dances to his new camp

B.S. 2000 - Don Newman # 1: Don Newman serves as you federal election guide as he looks back at a time when Canadian politics was exciting. Chrétien's Hospital Visit: Jean Chretien's hands-on approach to healthcare. Preston Manning: Risky Business: Preston Manning gets jiggy in Stornoway. The Wendy Report: Wendy Mesley and her panel of experts discuss the federal election. B.S. 2000 - Don Newman # 2: Don Newman takes us to the next section of the program. Joe Clark Refused Entry: Joe Clark gets all dressed up for a visit to the House of Commons. Jane Stewart's Boondoggle: Human Resources Minister Jane Stewart, has some explaining to do. Stockwell Day Commercial: Stockwell Day TV ad - nothing but child's play. B.S. 2000 - Don Newman # 3: Don Newman returns to take us to the end of the look back. Paul Martin & Rita McNeil: To help explain his fiscal plans, finance Minster Paul Martin recruits the singing talents of Rita McNeil. Ottawa Survivor: Who will get voted off

All Aboard The Martin Express: Paul Martin's feet show their leadership qualities. Larry King Live - George Bush: Larry King gives George W. Bush the ""dimwit"" test. B.S. 2000: B.S. 2000 uncovers all the latest election news. Paul Martin leadership hopes, Jean Chretien's one-tier healthcare system, Stockwell Day's family picnic, Alexa McDonough in Regina, Gilles Duceppe's connection to Lucien Bouchard, vox pox predicts liberal majority with Joe Clark as leader. The Ghost and M. Chrétien: Jean Chrétien is visited by the ghost of elections past - Pierre Trudeau. Videopinion: Some Like It Hot: Global warming leaves Taffi hot under the accordion. Park n' Joke: Nick the parking lot attendant sounds off about, Alexa McDonough's wardrobe, Stockwell Day as a used car salesman, Stockwell turns to Judaism, negative campaign ads, Florida election shootout, new Blue Jay manager, charity hockey games ends in brawl. Stockwell's Sour Note: Stockwell Day sings in sign language. Chicken C

Smokers' Commentray: Phil and Jerry's nicotine moment looks at racist politicians, Jean Chrétien on criminals, Alexa McDonough's student free loans, Stockwell's name referendum, the Grey Cup, the Guess Who, the Buffalo blizzard, and Mike Harris' pay raise. God Bless America: Clinton Style: A U.S. Presidential stalemate: Bush and Gore are stale and Clinton wants to mate. Environmentally Friendly Alexa: Alexa McDonough pleads for a clean environment for when she's out on the street. The Jeanfather: Godfather Jean Chrétien arranges a loan for one of his constituents.. Joe Presses The Flesh: Not even the faint hope clause can help Joe Clark. Jock McBile: Jock rants about election coverage overload, U.S. election counting woes, George Bush, the Florida lawyer influx, a new reality tv show, Toronto Police and the mentally ill, unwanted Christmas gifts and voting advice. Beware The Ides Of Mike: While in a bar, Mike from Canmore learns a pick-up isn't a truck. B.S. 2000: B.S. 20

Cab Driver: Dave the cabbie comments on the movie Titanic, Mel Lastman's infidelity, CBC Chair's resignation, Robert Downey Jr., George Bush, food safety in Ontario, Cirque de Soleil and Eric Lindros Prophet on the Mount: An all knowing prophet gives a sermon on the federal election. Charles & Camilla: A Montréal fling leaves Prince Charles in the doghouse with Camilla! Jean Chrétien's Wheel of Patronage: Jean Chrétien celebrates his majority victory by spinning the wheel of patronage. Stockwell & Deborah: Stockwell Day trades in his wet suit for his birthday suit. Medical Alert: A doctor prescribes the necessary remedy for cold and flu season. Ralph Klein's Hot Tub: Ralph Klein makes bubbles in his hot tub as he describes how he will spend Alberta's surplus. Mountain Climber: A couple of rock climbers make a mountain out of a Sasquatch hill.

Bush & Gore's Courtroom Battle: Bush and Gore go to court and face Judge Judy. Canadian Moment: The donut shop gang discuss Christmas gift ideas, Jean Chrétien's homeless handout, Walkerton water, Virgin airlines, Lucien Bouchard, men who listen with half their brain, and winter driving in Toronto. Peter Mansbridge's Bovine Banter: Peter Mansbridge goes one on one with a mad cow. New Digital TV Channels: Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me disses the new digital tv channels. Man At Bar: Our man at the bar has some sobering thoughts on Mel Lastman's alleged infidelity, boxers with tatoos, wild animal shows on TV, American high school kids who can't read, the ban on outdoor smoking and Jean Chrétiens visit with Bill Clinton. Mel Speaks Out: Mel Lastman proves he is the David Crosby of politics. Mike's 12 Days of Christmas: Mike from Canmore sings ""The 12 Canmore Days of Christmas"".

News From Away: New Year's Eve 2000: Jimmy & Shamus O'Toole look back at the news from 2000: the federal election, Stockwell Day, Toronto's garbage problem, and Anne Heche. Jimmy & Shamus O'Toole also sweep through 52 Weeks In 52 Seconds. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?: Special guest Pamela Wallin goes from the host's seat to the hot seat on Who Wants To Be A Canadian millionaire. I Am Canadian.: Mike from Canmore's version of ""I am Canadian."" Man to Mansbridge: Special guest Stockwell Day speaks ""Man to Mansbridge"" at Stornoway and leaves no agenda unturned. Tim Hortons Coffee Romance: Single White Female seeks long-term relationship with Double Mocha Coffee. New Year's Eve Beer Story: Kenny and Bruce have a suds-tastic New Beer's Eve. Paul Martin: Paul Martin learns that waiting for Jean Chretien to retire is even worse than waiting for the cable guy to show up. Blind Date: CBC Jonovision host Jonathan Torrens goes on a blind date with Sue the sex therapist. Critic a

Wendy Report: The Wendy Report targets Jean Chretien's birthday, Air Canada layoffs, Hell Angel's in Ontario, Mario Lemieux, George W. Bush's cabinet picks, New Brunswick doctors strike, Ontario fugitives Ron and Loren Koval, Puff Daddy, seven escaped prisoners from a Texas prison, Time Magazine's man of the year, and the value of the Canadian dollar in 2030. Bouchard & Duceppe: Lucien Bouchard and Gilles Duceppe team up to sing, ""That's Separation."" BBC News: Breast Enlargement: BBC News reports - breast implants are for everyone. George W. Bush's NY Address: George W. Bush lays out the groundwork for his Presidency. Worker on a Girder: A girder worker talks about Ally McBeal, Canadian Federal party leaders, new Microsoft/Lazy-boy chair, Donovan Bailey, Vancouver drug addict sues dealer, Toronto's 2008 Olympic bid, and Hamilton's environmental record. Ebert & Roeper @ The Movies: Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper put their best thumb forward reviewing the blockbuster of 2000. T

Chrétien and Martin - Bouchard Resignation: Paul Martin prays Jean Chretien will catch Bouchard fever and resign. Doctor On Winter Health: A doctor has the cure for exchanging in-flight winter germs. Abendigo And Atwood: Margaret Atwood demonstrates the pen might be mightier than the sword but her singing is a lethal weapon. Brenda The Bingo Lady: Brenda the Bingo Lady dabs and gabs about New Year's resolutions, Temptation Island, same-sex lesbian wedding, gay wedding ceremony, gas prices, Meg Ryan/Russell Crowe break-up, eclipse in Turkey, and Montreal Expos on The Comedy Network. @discovery.ca - Designer Animals: Jay Ingram is a real curious George when it comes to monkeying around with genetically modified primates. Anne McLellan Gun Registration: Gun registration for dummies. Saltspring Animal Haven: Back-to-the-land animal lovers invade Saltspring Island.

Stan's Internet Baby Service: Stan unveils his new web page, www.e-baby.com. Canadiens Sale: An American takeover leaves Montreal Canadiens fans wondering - to Habs or Hab nots. Jock McBile: Jock McBile comments on Stockwell Day's costly lawsuit. E. Coli Testimony: At the Walkerton inquiry, an e-coli is called to the witness stand. ESL News: The English As A Second Language News duo report on Bernard Landry, Celine Dion has a baby, oil spill in the Galapagos Islands, Canadian Alliance 12-step program, Canadian immigration, George W. Bush's inauguration, new jobs for Bill Clinton's staff, Super Bowl XXXV, man gives cat marijuana, Jesse Jackson's love child, and Quebec drivers. Future-Chapters Shop: Future-Chapters Shop - takeover wars. Mike on a Park Bench: Mike from Canmore's park proposition. Bush Inauguration: George W. Bush takes the oaf of office. The Baby Story: A baby story - true stories that make women cry and men cringe.

Chrétien & Clarkson: Throne Speech: The throne speech is true to form, totally incoherent. Chicken Cannon News: Reports on new Saskatchewan premier, two thousand dollar Walkerton settlement, George W. Bush's Star Wars plan, Bernard Landry in dictionary, Canadian Mint issues new fifty dollar bill, , Wayne Gretzky turns 40, and the TV show E.R. The Chicken Cannon serves Bernard Landry an authentic Canadian meal... E. Coli Testimony: An oil spill in the Galapagos Islands leaves Charles Darwin's grandson spouting off about the theory of pollution. Parliamentary Highlights: Day: Stockwell Day's parliamentary quickie. Celine and Baby: Celine Dion becomes a mom. Billy 2 Willies : BC Name Change: Billy Two Willies give British Columbia a native name overhaul. Parliamentary Highlights: McDonough: Alexa McDonough's parliamentary quickie. Videopinion: Groundhog Day: An anti-groundhog crusader would like to see Groundhog Day ground to a halt. Parliamentary Highlights: Clark: Joe Cl

Dinner on Titanic: Dinner on the Titanic leaves everyone with an appetite for disaster. Ebert & One Fat Lady: Gourmet cook One Fat Lady pairs with Roger Ebert to look at the movies of 1999. Seventh Sense: Joe Clark can see things... Million Dollar Babies: Multiple mother Dionne discovers there's no business like the baby business. Critic at Large with David Cronenberg: Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me meets special guest David Cronenberg Quiz Show Excerpt: A quiz show contestant tries to answer a skill testing question. Deadman Walking Excerpt: You just never know who you're going to see in prison... The Jeanfather: Godfather Jean Chrétien arranges a loan. Alfredo Fettuccini Excerpt: A scene from one of Italy's most famous movies.

CTV Chrétien's China Trip: Lloyd Robertson, Canada's most articulate news anchor, interviews Jean Chrétien, Canada's most inarticulate prime minister. Ariel Sharon, Lois & Bram: New Israeli leader Ariel Sharon entertains kids on a new CD, Ariel Sharon, Lois and Bram. CTV Sportsnet: Two sportscasters make the average jock look like a genius. News From Away: Jimmy and Shamus O'Toole report on Canadian Pacific being split into five companies, Mike Harris takes girlfriend on Chinese trade mission, potato wart, closing down of Napster, Canadian/Brazilian trade war, Mazda SUV runs over Zoom Zoom kid, office party drunk awarded $300,000, mapping of Genome, Elton John teams up with Eminem, Tom Cruise's divorce, Facts of Life Survivor, and Star Wars defense system. B.C. Hikers: A forest ranger shows a hiker how not to become cougar trail mix. Critic @ Large: Oscars 2001: Critic Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me trashes this years Oscar nominees. Klein & Clark: Joe Clark offers election tips to

Linda Sims & John Roth: Nortel changes its name to No Tell because there's no telling what will happen next. Saddam Speaks Out: Saddam Hussein's television broadcast is more than just a ratings killer. Welsh Restaurant & Inspector: A health inspector checks out a restaurant with food fit for a stomach pump. Cab Driver: Dave the cabbie expresses his opinion on winter driving, Brett Lindro's snowmobile accident, U of T cheating scandal, Russian FBI spy, Jean Chretien's China trade mission, Sue Johanson gets Order of Canada, XFL, reality TV, hand-free cell phones, student sells soul over the internet, B.C. premier Ujjal Dosanjh, and Victoria Secrets. Rich Couple Loses All: Bad investments turn a rich couple's cruise on the Love Boat into a trip to the Poor House. Investors Group Commercial: Investment advice for the economically challenged. Bush Address: George W. Bush's presidential update. Yin-Yang News: Yin-Yang News, your X and Y chromosome newscast comments on woman who

Canadian Moment: Air Farce's donut dunkers chew on high Alberta heating costs, B.C. earthquake, Britian's hoof and mouth disease, NDP meeting, Ontario Metis ruling, Bill Clinton's political pardon woes, Celine Dion website, Elvis Stojko, asteroid crashes to earth and Mir space station. Beavertone News: Wallpaper: A wallpaper store has a sale on Nortel stock. Bouchard & Landry: Lucien Bouchard hands over his separatist keys to Bernard Landry. Greenspan Address: Alan Greenspan explains the ups and downs of the economy. Mike's Antique Roadshow: Mike from Canmore is a smash on the Antiques Roadshow. Nancy Wilson: Napster: Morning napper Nancy Wilson talks Napster with Keith Richards. Girder Guy: A girder worker has riveting comments on John Cleghorn's retirement, horsemeat replaces beef in Europe, new politically correct words and Bernard Landry. Off The Record: Sports talker Michael Landsberg deals with a punch drunk fighter and a food drunk actress.

Martin's Speech On The Economy: The economy leaves Paul Martin with a sinking feeling. ESL News: English As A Second Language newsreaders targets the Olympic evaluation team in Toronto, Napster, New Brunswick hospital strike, Stockwell Day's legal woes, Stockwell playing pool, Stockwell on Ebay, Peter Mansbridge gets burned by Survivor, Joe Clark's coalition plans, single father study, and Stavros the Espresso Drinking Greek rants about foot and mouth disease. Survivor Quickie: Outlast, Outwit, and Out of the closet. Parliament After Dark: Joe Clark's late night Parliamentary TV show - Clark In The Dark. Sandie Rinaldo - Earthquakes: Since the earthquake, Sandie Rinaldo knows why everyone is Sleepless In Seattle. Farm Aid, The Opera: Cash strapped farmers' sing for their supper. Parking Lot Attendant: When not destroying his customers cars, a parking attendant comments on Hillary Clinton, Canadians who live to be 200 years old, Stockwell Day's leadership qualifications, Sto

Opening Credits & Wolfe: Plains of Abraham: From French explorer Jacques Cartier's foray into Canada to General Wolfe's adventures in Québec. Rex Murphy & Champlain: Special guest Rex Murphy interviews Samuel de Champlain. John Graves Simcoe: Special guest Graham Greene as John Graves Simcoe negotiates land claims with Billy Two Willies and Susan Born-with-an-Attitude. Battle of Queenston Heights: Not only is war hell, it can also be very cheap. Laura Secord & Cow: Lauara Secord engages in bovine banter with her cow. Macdonald & Fathers of Confederation: Charlottetown plays host to Sir John A. MacDonald and his fellow fathers of confederation. Louis Riel: Louis Riel as a fanatic radical radical bent on separation looks suspiciously like Lucien Bouchard. The Last Spike: Mike from Canmore helps link the east to the west. WW1: Trenches: Canada's fighting Puck Demon platoon is battle ready. The Big Wrap Up: A look at what Canada has become...

Manning Resigns: Preston Manning holds a press conference to announce his retirement from politics. Wendy Report: The Wendy Report investigates agriculture Minister Lyle Fancier, Ariel Sharon's visit to Washington, Montreal's Olympic stadium, Puff Daddy and the movie Traffic, Joe Clark's stolen laptop, Prime Minister's golf course troubles, tax time and women on submarines. Mir Quickie: Scientists predict where the Mir space station will crash land. Foot and Mouth Meat Shoppe: An English butcher tip toes around foot and mouth disease. Ebert and Not Ebert: Oscars: Ebert and Roeper's assault on the Academy Awards: Castaway, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and more. Jaffer Apologizes: An apologetic Alliance MP Rahim Jaffer is everything to everyone. Gene Spliced Baby: A couple goes on a fertility hunt in search of a designer baby. Jock McBile: Jock McBile shares his thoughts on the stock market, Canadian dollar, teenagers arrested for counterfeiting, Starbucks moving into Qu

Chrétien Commercial: Canada's newest vacation destination: Club Fed Grande-Mere. Canada Customs Search: Canada Customs only has eyes for foot and mouth. Mike Saves Aircraft: Mike from Canmore lands an airplane. Hedy Fry Apology: B.C. politician Hedy Fry attempts to apologize for her 'cross burning' remark. Larry King Interviews George W. Bush: Larry King asks about oil and gets a George W. Bush geography lesson. Another Hedy Fry Apology: Ooops, I did it again. Seasonal Affective Disorder: End-of-winter blahs leave a couple mad with S.A.D. A Final Hedy Fry Apology: Her last chance to get it right. Stockwell's News Conference: Stockwell Day has all the right answers, expecially since he's asking all the questions. Aphazard: Unwanted Solicitors: Professor Aphazard demonstrates how to prevent the most hated domestic pest - unwanted door salespersons. Chicken Cannon News: The Chicken Cannon reports on Nortel, U.S. Spy Plane in China; Slobodan Milosevic, foot and mouth di