Royal Canadian Air Farce

-Channel 10 Report: Anchors Kyle and Meagan report on the Canadian Olympic committee plans for gold in Vancouver 2010, new bridge between Detroit and Windsor, Eastern Canada snowstorm, new baseball steroid plan, Paris Hilton, book of bin Laden Interviews. -Missing Link Animation: The discovery of the missing evolutionary link. -Wacky Wanda: Wacky Wanda's fine art sale. -The Weather Network: Earthquake Report: Scientist encounters a quake of size-mo-gasmic proportions. -Lotto 649 Commercial: After trying to do something nice for their kids, a cottage couple learn they have lost the generic lottery. -Iraq Election Advance Coverage: Iraqi coverage of the Iraqi election. -Todd Bertuzzi Animation: NASA takes aim at destroying a comet with the help of Todd Bertuzzi. -Parent Hockey Rage: Dealing with the outbreak of parental hockey rage. -Alan Park: Not The Official Story: Alan Park talks about Canada 's national defence department, Toronto – cultural capital, new Ukraine pr

-What's News: Anchors Kyle and Meagan report on Canadian Olympic committee plan for gold in 2010, new bridge between Detroit and Windsor, Eastern Canada snowstorm, new baseball steroid plan, Paris Hilton, book of bin Laden Interviews. -Dar Heatherington: Dar Heatherington keeps us up to date on what is happening in her life. -Look, Learn & Listen: Liberals demand northerners must register their canoes. -Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me: Best Actress: Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me's Oscar chick picks. -Aspirin Commercial: Commercial for the new extra strength spontaneous combustion aspirins. -Canadian Moment Part 01: Air Farce's donut shop talk about George Bush's state of union address, Condoleeza Rice, casinos on Air Canada. -Bill O'Reilly Animation: Fox loudmouth Bill O'Reilly is in over his head when he slags the CBC. -House Of Commons Security: Anne McLellan deals with a House of Commons security guard. -Superbowl Auditions Animation: Halftime auditions for the Super Bowl. -Alan

-Gomery Commission: Chrétien: John Gomery probes Jean Chrétien. -Thank You News: Anchors Joan Manners and Donna Pleasance look at Prince Charles & Camilla, Iraqi coloured finger system, General Rick Hillier, Defense Minister Bill Graham, B.C. Beaver Fever, Saskatchewan wants same treatment as Newfoundland, new bat stroke remedy, Pit-bull owners. -Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me: Best Actor: Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me all-male movie review. -Speed Network News: The fastest newscast anywhere reports on Quebec liquor strike over, Edmonton Police fire chief, U.S. opens border to Canadian cattle, Condoleezza Rice, Ontario trillium, Happy Days reunion, alcohol harmful as cigarettes, Queer Beer, Gomery comment, Gummy Bear implants, new Crest toothpaste, Neilson ratings. -Lie Detector Commercial: Beauty cream tells no lies. -Alan Park: Not The Official Story: Alan Park targets Winnipeg police video taping John's, SkyDome new name, Sydney tar ponds, B.C. government targets beaver fever, Super bo

-Coach's Corner: 7 Second Delay: Coach's Corner's new seven second delay. -Hockey Withdrawal: A woman attempts to bring her husband out of a comatose state brought on by the hockey strike. -Jody Vance & Mario Lemieux: Sportsnet's Jody Vance talks NHL lockout with Mario Lemieux. -Bettman/Goodenow Animation: Gary Bettman and Bob Goodenow rap about the NHL strike. -Guy Lafleur Commercial: Aging hockey star deals with Erectile Dysfunction. -Joke Compilation # 1: What the lockout means to the Toronto Maple Leafs, discovery of an 1834 hockey painting suggests the sport may have originated in the U.S., Todd Bertuzzi. -That's Hockey: Haley Wickenheiser: Haley Wickenheiser proves she's man enough to play with the ladies. -Bettman/Goodenow: Gary Bettman and Bob Goodenow go tongue to tongue. -National Anthem: American National Anthem sung to a different tune. -Postal Strike: NHL players take a shot a delivering the mail. -Joke Compilation # 2: Midget hockey league tests play

-Dave The Cabbie: Dave the Cabbie rants about Ralph Goodale, Paul Martin not signing missile defense, Paul Martin sending 30 soldiers to Iraq, NHL'er Steve Moore sues Todd Bertuzzi, Famous Players theatres, monarch butterflies - Insurance company profits, B.C. polygamists, Adrienne Clarkson. -Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me: Best Picture: Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me makes his Best Picture choice. -Adrienne Clarkson At Rideau Hall: Security guard Arden Gardner keeps Adrienne Clarkson safe from a tour of students. -Sister Bessie: Gomery Inquiry: Sister Bessie targets the Gomery Inquiry. -George Stroumboloupolous & Ralph Goodale: George Stroumboulopoulos crunches numbers with Finance Minister Ralph Goodale. -Alan Park: Not The Official Story: Alan Park talks about Gomery, Defense Minister Bill Graham, WalMart, antidepressants, study on yawning, Hutterites, Charles upcoming marriage to Camilla. -What's News The What's News team reports on Paul Martin as ""Mr. Dithers"", Charles & Camilla, J

-Craig Oliver's 3-Way: Craig Oliver, John Ralston Saul, Nick the Greek and Kalan Porter talk about Condoleezza Rice, Dalton McGuinty, farmers circle Queen's Park, Tutankhamun, Greeks – archeology, Scott Tournament of Hearts, capture of Saddam's half brother. -Charles & Camilla Plan Wedding: Charles & Camilla plan their wedding. -CBC Sports Centre: Terry Leibel: Cutbacks and firings leaves CBC sportscaster Terry Leibel holding down the fort. -Knob Of The Week: City council of Iqaluit gets crowned – Knob of the Week. -Paul Martin: Mr Dithers: Paul Martin explains his stance on missile defense. -NHL Lockout Video: Video that sums up the NHL lockout. -Newz Rapp: Rappers Feminem and Ice Berg report on George Bush, Nobel Peace Price, Missile Shield, Vancouver Winter Olympics, Michael Jackson. -Alan Park: Not The Official Story: Alan Park talks about Tournaments of Hearts winner, defaced nude statue in Penticton BC, improving railroads and highways in Northeaster Canada the St

-Paul Martin's Texas hoedown: Night of the Living Harper -New Airline: Stansgo -Peter Mansbridge's Piano Bar newscast. -Kirsty Alley talks about her new show, Fat Actress

-Canadian Moment: Charles and Camilla’s upcoming wedding is the hot topic in the donut shop. -Dakota Commercial: Native pitchman Floyd Red Crow Westerman sells his new product “Dakota Beavers-In-Your-Pants Pain Reliever”. -CBC News Today: Kyoto Protocol Kyoto discussion leaves the panel feeling all hot and bothered. -Newman News: Don Newman talks about Radio Shack, police in Winnipeg, pine beetles, alcohol and gas price expected to rise this summer, Swiss plan to stop glaciers, police find drug dealers building a submarine, Toronto Blue Jays, woman finds finger in her chili, Addidas unveils new “smart shoe”. -Sister Bessie: Sandie Rinaldo speaks to security guard at the Parthenon about a Canadian student charge with picking up a piece of marble. -Sandie & Nick: Sister Bessie talks about Paul Martin’s minority government. -Funeral For Bubba The Lobster: Jay Ingram interviews a SARS virus. -Daily Planet: SARS: A priest eulogizes an old lobster. -French Comic: A French c