LoadingReadyRun

Introducing 64K, G*Star's Commodore 64 is in need of the LoadingReadyRap.

A guide to Homo Mortuus, more commonly known as the zombie.

Graham provides us with a fascinating look into the process behind the creation of LoadingReadyRun's videos - except that the "process" seems to consist mostly of Graham changing the script to give himself more screen time and writing out everyone else's parts. When Paul discovers that Graham is making the latest video entirely by himself, starring himself, the process of vengeance begins!

In revenge for being cut out of the sketches for The Process, Morgan decides to prank Graham, "Punk'd" style, by having Conor call him and say someone was found dead. The dead body will be Paul and Graham will be progressively humiliated. When Graham appears, Conor acts in an increasingly shocking fashion, doing things such as raiding Paul's corpse for his wallet and suggesting taking his possessions. Eventually Morgan appears and reveals the whole thing is a hoax, except that Paul really is dead, and Conor runs off.

Myke and Amy are happily on vacation, and after lunch the two visit the circus, where Myke has his shirt signed by one of the performers. The performer reccomends the resort's virtual reality games, so he two try it out, with Myke and Amy both choosing "wired" caharcters - themselves. After the computer has loaded the simulation, and pointed out that Myke has something written on his shirt, all the power goes out, and the computer warns of an attack on the planet. After several attempts, she manages to communicate this to Myke, and he and Amy flee the resort. They meet up with Myke's parents, and the four are told to run for the rescue ship, whilst the guards try to hold off the spproaching attackers. Myke and Amy are separated from Myke's parents, and are cornered by a robotic crab. While Myke wonders if he had lunch, the episode ends.

Graham, Geoff, and Conor are watching TV when Paul suddenly appears, much to their surprise. The three attempt to explain to Paul that his death was a prank that went horribly wrong. A series of flashbacks shows that they tried to resuscitate Paul with CPR, only to break his ribs, and then they tried to revive him using a car battery and some jumper cables, which they applied somewhere very awkward. This leaves Paul able to smell nothing but burning. Then they dumped Paul off in the Homo Mortuus Reserve and now Paul is a zombie. Unimpressed, Paul vows to eat the trio's brains in revenge.

The first of three shorts based on the popular comic 'Bob the Angry Flower'. Bob is feeling down, so his friend tries to get him to talk to "Mr Happy Puppy" the puppet. Initially angrilly rejecting the idea, he puts the handpuppet on, and it quickly takes him out of his comfort zone. In response, Bob hits it, injuring his own hand.

The second of three shorts based on the popular comic 'Bob the Angry Flower'. Bob buys 'meteor repellant' charms and makes money by selling them to the U.N. Meteor Deflection Task Force at an inflated price. As far as he knows, they don't even work.

One of three shorts adapted from Bob the Angry Flower. Bob may have drunk all the beer in the fridge; he may not have. Until the fridge is opened, the number of beers drunk is indeterminate! The problem is that the wavefunction doesn't collapse no matter how much Bob observes.

After being cornered by the crab, Myke and Amy are rescued by the circus folk. Myke, still pining over lunch, wants to rescue his parents, but Tiny Tim (a seven-foot strongman) insists they have to get to the teleporter. Also, he says Myke has something on his shirt. After teleporting onto the Federation Rescue Ship G7X92B42 Hydra, or "Binky", they are told to prepare for Gravitic Warp, which Myke interprets as a performance by his favorite band, Gravitic Warp. On the Bridge, the Captain eventually manages to get the ship away from the planet. Myke and Amy are resting, Myke still waiting for the band, and confusuing his lunch with the robot attack. Suddenly, the warp engines shut off, and the ship is attacked. The Captain orders power to the shields, but is eventually forced to give the order to abandon ship. And to not look out the window, as it might make you panic. Myke and Amy are separated, as it is one per escape pod. As the survivors are ejected from the ship, Binky explodes, and the episode ends.

It's Christmas Eve, and Graham's forgotten to do his gift shopping. While he runs off to the gas station, Paul does his shopping online - but both have some unexpected problems. The only place open is a Gas Station, so Graham buys people oil, whilst Paul seems unable to create a password for his account that the website will accept.

Paul and Graham have composed new lyrics to a traditional holiday tune. Unfortunately, getting everyone else to actually sing "The Twelve Days of Giftmas" is like herding cats, as the cast get distracted by Halo, and bored of singing the same lines over and over.

Kathleen confronts Graham - she thinks he's cute, and it's high time they took their relationship to the next level; however, Graham is oblivious, and Kathleen needs to spell it out. Her attempts to do so are interrupted by a hostile interjection from Graham's computer, which considers its own relationship with Graham to be all he needs. Kathleen and the computer argue until Kathleen becomes convinced that the computer is indeed romantically superior and absconds with it. Graham turns to his Commodore 64 for comfort and is rebuffed.

Myke's Escape Pod sets a course for Landel VI, the nearest habitable planet, 100 hours away. He is driven slowly insane by the Computer's entertainment programs, 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall, available in over 5,000 languages. The Pod eventually comes to Landel VI, but Myke crashes the pod by trying to land it manually. Myke notes a strange energy reading, and requests a weapon, but the computer refuses to replicate him any weapon more advanced than a sword, as the planet is technologically undeveloped. He sets off in search of lunch, but soon passes out from hunger. If only he hadn't skipped lunch... He wakes up in a nearby village, populated by "creepy elf children", who found him unconscious. They tell him there is very little food in the village, but after a long and complex thought process, Myke realizes the Escape Pod's replicator could create some food for him. He hurries back, but finds the Pod has been attacked, and the distress signal cut off. As Myke comes to the horrifying realization that this means no food, the episode ends.

LRR acts out spam, such as "Goranga!" and "Mail-away College Degrees".

Alex, the Reebester, Dave and Mr. Satan/Stan face off in an not-so-epic battle for a small carton of pocky.

Andy performs a showtune he wrote himself.

In a parody of Mystery Science Theatre 3000, Graham and Paul mock an old documentary. George brings in a new girl, Joan, who annoys Betty the older more experienced employee with her new ideas on filing.

Paul must enter a mindscape and confront a being of malignant evil that will summon up spectres from his past to destroy his psyche. It doesn't go quite like he expects, though...

Myke follows the strange energy reading to a basement where he is captured by Lance Fabulous after meeting an escape pod thief.

As females are little understood by men Loading Ready Labs gives this guide. Do: show off your muscles, impress her with your knowledge of Shakespeare, show her your collection of 18th century art, compliment her outfit, tell her that she is sexy, play fun video games, impress her with your puppeteering skills, woo her with your ideals of courtly love, and ask her to marry you. Do not: show off your wrestling moves, impress her with your knowledge of Star Trek, show her your collection of 18th century pornography, suggest another outfit that makes her look less fat, tell her that she is smelly, play competitive video games, impress her with your meat puppeteering skills, woo her with a mating dance you saw on the Discovery channel, or ask her to start popping out babies.

Graham and Paul act out a sketch as it is being written. Algernon and Sedgewick face off in some kind of thriller.

Graham and Paul welcome you to LoadingReadyRun 3000! Today's video is a social engineering filmstrip from 1952, presented complete with funny commentary.

Rick Mercer (This Hour Has 22 Minutes, Talking to Americans & The Rick Mercer Report) plugs LoadingReadyRun.

Since Pat finds musicals absurd Andy uses the power of song and dance to change his mind.

Myke manages to crash the ship just by pressing a button. After crash landing they quickly give themselves up and they are thrown in a dungeon.

Yummies presents cinnamon chew snack cakes. Yummies snack cakes. Evil Corp. holds the worlds supply of oatmeal and apple snacks cakes along with Evil Corp.'s favorite cinnamon chew. Jangles and Jones are on the case and Yummies snacks solve the case. 64K give mad props to Yummies, The original golden cake.

Graham submits his interview in video form. He gets his rejection in video form as well.

A documentary about a fictional children's television show staffed entirely by puppets. Not just starring puppets, staffed.

What do newscasters do when there's no news to report? Absolutely nothing is happening - time seems to have stopped. (For some reason, this isn't considered news.)

An advertisement for a school that aims to education and sharpen the autocratic skills of dictators. Turn your brutal reign into an inhuman one! Learn how to purge, oppress, and tyrranize with the best!

Our film-noirish protagonist needs to deliver a pizza in thirty minutes or less. Can he navigate the city's shadowy underbelly to get the information he needs, or will the gritty underworld rub him out?

If you don't vote, it's like letting the guy who loves anchovies order the pizza - you'll pay for it later.

LRR presents a helpful guide to the 2005 British Columbia provincial elections.

The commentary track for a turn-of-the-century film.

For those of you who saw the earlier episode on "How to Impress Women" and now want out, LRLabs offers a helpful presentation on how to end a relationship, with special host Olive Snarfelburger. Relationship end techniques include: lying, telling the truth, breaking up using the phone and/or email, talking about who you are dumping them for, faking your death, getting your friend to do it, freaking them out with horrid poetry, act mentally unstable, fake bizarre fetishes, or if all else fails, murder.

Jer and Ash attend the first Victoria Air Guitar Championship where Pat rocks out to a second place finish.

Myke is tortured. Myke and Lance are rescued by the local freedom fighters and are able to escape.

LRR Labs presents a basic tutorial in the natures and propitiation methods best suited for some of the more obscure deities of forgotten pantheons.

Five people decide to stay awake for forty-eight hours, and they're chronicling it all for Sheer Stupidity. At first, the video is shot like a reality-TV show, hosted by Jeremy Michaels, but as the hours pass no one wants to bother. The cast slowly loses their ability to parse grammar, keep track of time, and think intelligibly, although they manage to keep themselves distracted. Morgan even works a scheduled shift at work. Eventually, they're so exhausted that they all pack it up. Bill lasted the longest with a whopping forty-five hours.

Graham and Paul present an animated music video for a song by The Arrogant Worms.

Television just doesn't work for movies when you've got to edit them. Swearing, sexual content, drug references, time limitations, screen formatting, violence and commercial breaks all impede the correct portrayal of 'Who's Jacket is It', the LRRie winning film.

After viewing "Revenge of the Sith", two Star Wars fans begin a discussion about whether the film can serve as a political metaphor for any society or whether it's incompatible with Canadian politics. Conversation quickly turns to the industrial capacity of Naboo and the implications for democratic monarchy. Despite some subtle use of Force suggestion, one of the fans simply won't drop the subject, despite the other pointing out how his obsession with economic and political details has gotten them banned from conventions. An argument develops, and cans of whoop-Force are opened, culminating in a lightsaber duel.

Evil Inc. is looking for a few good men - well, it is now, after its previous henchmen all perished in various peculiar ways not at all related to their own incompetence.

"You are watching Loading - Ready - Run." It's more interesting when celebrities say it.

Four Shorts: Cheese: Jeremy stops cutting the cheese to sharpen a knife and accidentally cuts off a finger. He phones the hospital with bad results. Future: Jeremy encounters himself from one minute in the future, who is attempting to save the universe. Hummmm: A minute might seem like a pretty short amount of time for a video, but LRR wants to see just how long they can make it. Terminal: A man in the hospital receives some bad news. He has one to live. Minute, that is.

A traveling salesman tries to sell his wares, but his prospective customer seems to take umbrage at everything he says, does, or displays. (She does seem to like the cats.) Everything is somehow wrong, insulting, or inherently offensive. Eventually he just can't take any more.

LoadingReadyRun pokes fun at the old Superman cartoons and the motifs of its specific genre.

Uwe Boll doesn't just make bad movies, he threatens the reputation of video gamers everywhere - and he must be stopped! Graham reviews the history of Boll's cinematic atrocities, analyzes the international legal loopholes that make the horror-that-is-Boll possible, and interviews one of his countless victims.

Graham woke up as normal - and found he's out of sync with reality. Like a badly dubbed kung-fu movie. "Look, there's Godzilla!"

The Story Guy makes his first appearance, detailing that the recipe of the grilled cheese sandwich that he makes when the Sultan of Brunei drops in, was found by his grandfather, a pilot in the Kenyan Air Force, when he was shot down over Germany at the end of the Second World War. Oh and he forgot his wallet when he went to the store to buy more cheese.

The forum member known as "Johnny_Lunchbox" has foolishly agreed to become an intern for our favorite Internet comedy group, and that means LRR has a new gophermonkey! His real name is already taken by Bill, so he is quickly renamed "Johnny". They set him to important tasks like acquiring beer and waiting outside for thirty-six hours straight.

Our most horrifying display of stupidity yet, Bill goes the distance for eating gross things.

Graham rips people who cultivate an air of superiority on the subject of independent music a new one.

Billy (played by Graham) never gave combine harvesters much thought, but when he listened to the Narrator's voiceover, he found they were going to play a big part in his future. Ted (Bill), the school bully, tries to get Billy to smoke some cigarettes.

Myke and Lance escape in cart and on foot as they are persuaded by dragons, golems and beasts. They reach the freedom fighters camp and they agree to help at the front lines.

64K is back with the history of video games.