You Suck at Producing

Learn how panning can really open up Derek's wings on the playground.

Ok, so check it. Our ears determine the position of a sound based on which ear perceives it first and its successive reflections (arriving within 1-35 ms from the initial sound) which, will give us the perception of depth and spaciousness. Using this psychoacoustic phenomenon called the Haas effect, we can make Roger sound large and wide. Wowzers!

Learn how to use Ableton's reverb to really give Gerald the room he needs. Learn the difference between early reflections, which gives us the character of the room, and the diffusion network, which controls the longer tail of the verb.

Learn how to create controlled or randomized repetitions of your favorite signals with beat repeat! Then, take matters into your own hands by turning that chance knob down to 0%.

Ever since Daft Punk invented sidechain compression twenty years ago, producers all around the world have asked themselves the same basic question: where do we go from here? Well, today, I have the answer.

Do your drums sound stiff and unnatural? Not anymore! In this week's lesson, we learn how to organically source proper drum sounds and combine them together to form a humanoid named Derek. Then, we give him some hair and he see how he interacts with other children his age. Wowzers!

Ok, so check it. Are you a smallboy with smooth, baby-like skin? Do you enjoy the company of women who are nice and wide? In this week's lesson, learn how give yourself the hairy, rough skin that women all around the world adore. Let's get started!

Let's face it: humans are dirty, messy, and unreliable. In today's lesson, we're gonna learn how to replace them with our computer devices to make the perfect beat, by using quantizing and grooves. Let's get started.

Learn how to create effective transitions between the different parts of your sad life in this week's video! Transition from the sweet serenity of early childhood to the crushing responsibilities of adult life in just a few short years! Make sure you have a part of your childhood carry over, otherwise you'll spend the rest of your adult life getting tattoos and piercings, you dingus!

Learn how to use scales and modes in this week's episode. We use white keys only for the sake of simplicity, but depending on which white key we start the scale off on, we get completely different moods and vibes. Use these scales (or 'modes', if you're a coastal elite) to dictate the overall emotional content of your tracks.

In this week's episode, learn how introducing your track to a new listener is like introducing yourself to a beautiful woman: both highly unlikely. You'll learn that introducing the least offensive part of your track first can often make for interesting small talk before the drop. Write the right intro, and you can find love!

Learn how to make some sweet cash money off of selling your music on iTunes, Spotify, Apple Music, and every other online music store or streaming service you could possibly imagine through a sweet platform called Distrokid.

Tired of always having to make your own sounds? Don't you wish you could be successful without actually having to do any work? Does the idea of playing festivals appeal to you? With the advent of sample packs, you can now make fully produced songs without actually having to do any producing! Let's get started.

Chords. There’s so many of them. Major chords. Minor chords. But how do we know which chords work together? Well, in today’s lesson, we’re gonna learn how to write our very own chord progressions. Then, we're gonna learn how to use inversions to make those chord progressions even smoother. oksuchceckit.

Learn how to use distortion to make boring sounds cool again. We learn the difference between hard clipping (face tattoo) and soft clipping (being over the age of 40). Then, we apply enough clipping on the master to make Uncle Joe cry. It's for your health!

Your track is boring. But why? It’s because its at the same energy level the whole time ya dingus! In today’s lesson, we’re gonna learn how to change up the energy levels of our track to engage the youth. Let’s get started.

Two weeks ago, I put up a video discussing energy levels, and how changing them up can help make your track less boring. Well clearly that wasn’t enough. I still had so much boring music to get through, and there was no amount of Adderall that could help. That’s why in today’s lesson, we’re gonna learn another technique to make sure your tracks don’t get boring. Let’s get started.

THE PACK - VANS (UNDERBELLY REMIX)

And that's why you should never collaborate with anyone. Thanks for watching!

Did you know that you've been using Ableton wrong this whole time? It's true, ya dingus! In today's lesson, we learn how to properly use Ableton's session view to draft out the arrangement of our track.

Learn how to maintain a sense of perspective on your music in this week's episode!

How do we get sounds that feel expressive out of a computer device completely devoid of human emotion?

In today's lesson, we're gonna learn what to do about writer's block. Let's get started.

In today’s lesson, we’re gonna learn how to work with multiple MIDI instruments and MIDI controllers inside of Ableton. This technique is applicable to recording and routing multiple MIDI channels as well. Great for using multiple VSTs and tracks.

How do we give our tracks some space? In today’s lesson, we’re gonna learn how to give our tracks feelings of space and depth. This is a great way to open up space in a mix, and make room for all your children to play. Let's get started. I use a combination of reverb, arrangement, and tempo adjustment to get the effect.

Writing B sections is hard. To prevent another Derek from joining the family, sometimes we have to use plan B. In today’s lesson, we’re gonna learn how to make plan B, or B Sections as they’re sometimes called, that work with our original idea. Let’s get started.

Having multiple melodies in your track is like having multiple children. Wrong. However, in today’s lesson, we’re gonna learn how to write melodies that balance and play well with one another.

One of the things I admire most about Uncle Joe is the warm, loving atmosphere he’s created in his basement. In today’s lesson, we’re gonna learn how to create our own atmospheres in our tracks, using Ableton Live. The devices I use are vinyl distortion and the vocoder. Let’s get started!

In today’s lesson, we’re going to learn how to reverse audio for some interesting effects. We'll start with the classic reverse reverb effect, and then we'll learn how to reverse audio in the Looper, the Simpler, and even learn how to reverse MIDI as well. let’s get started.

In today's lesson, we're gonna learn how to warp vocals inside Ableton Live and turn them into a sick bass sound using the vocoder.

In today's lesson, we're going to learn a couple different approaches to balancing section lengths in our shitsongs.

In last week’s lesson, we learned the basics of the Ionian or Major scale. but how do we know the scale intuitively? That’s why in today’s lesson, we’re gonna learn how to the play piano using a app called Melodics.