You Must Be the Husband

What intimate problem affects middle-aged married men from time to time? Yes - a sudden inability to hit a golf ball Wife Alice and agent Miranda would like to help Tom ... but they've got hold of the wrong end of the golf club.

As the husband of successful authoress Alice, Tom has everything - including a darts match in the hallway, a collapsible loo in the sitting room, and a literary agent who would like to murder him. And yet he's still complaining.

Infidelity happens to other people, not to solid married people like Tom and Alice. And if one of them indulged in a harmless flirtation, the other would take it in his stride... wouldn't he?

In which Alice nearly gets a prize, Tom gets a big surprise, Gerald gets a flea in his ear, Miranda gets her come-uppance, and someone gets a plate of sherry trifle.

The heart-warming truth about a long and successful marriage is - when one partner does something, the other will immediately misunderstand it. But if your wife found herself a solicitor, and didn't say why, what would you think?

Somewhere in the shadows, a loathsome and flaccid white object bestirs itself. Yes, it is Don the landlord, and he's thinking of leaving. Hurrah! cries Tom ... until he realises that Alice is thinking of leaving too.