My Brother, My Brother and Me

It’s a new year, and a new you — and man, we really hope that the new you likes goofs about wieners, because we have them in spades. We’ve also got a little bit of warm encouragement to help you complete your resolutions, couched comfortably within even more genital humor. Suggested talking points: Twenty-Dozen, Hairstyle Secrets, Taco Coordinator, Hipster Walrus, Along Came Polly Museum, Dickbats, Bathroom Brother, Feety Pajamas, Loveboss

Yes, we took an impromptu vacation last week, for which we’re eternally sorry. However, we come to you today as fully refreshed men, prepared to answer your queries and assail the internet-at-large with verbal and physical abuse. Come, beat up the internet with us. Suggested talking points: Footsmanship, Whipped, The Pebbles Voicemail, Goat Boyfriend, Twerk Squats, Mr. Paula Deen, Lettuce, Run-around, Full House Trivia, When to Hold ‘Em, Pokeality

We’re standing alongside our online brethren as we fight off the oppressive chokehold of internet-ruining federal legislation! If you don’t find this week’s episode amusing, it’s because we blacked out all of the potential comedy. That’ll teach you, Congress. Suggested talking points: SOPA, Fourthmeal, Oberstian Punishment, YUUUUP, Creeped Off, Buttsongs, Cake Boss

We’re centering our chakras and aligning our voodoo power centers to bring you our most spiritual episode to date. Come, join us as we look not only into the problems of our dear listeners, but also, the maladies of the soul. Suggested talking points: Prisoner of Worship, Fridge, Third Wheel, Arch Duke Zach Morris, Dupree’d, Merksmanship, Bakulover

It’s time for us genuine sportspeople to gather around and talk about the big game that we’re legally prohibited from talking about! How did we skirt around these restrictive broadcasting regulations, you ask? Well, we spent most of our time talking about imaginary babies. Suggested talking points: Potatoes McGee, Pleasure Buddies, Potter v. Rodgers, Skilled Labor, Cracker Barrel, Baby Island, Moist, The Creek, Mini-Mini Imaginary Baby Golf

We appear to have forgotten that it’s Valentine’s Week, because this particular episode doesn’t include much actionable romantic advice. If only today were a holiday celebrating sword-based home security. Suggested talking points: The Death of Zydeco, Krill Out Ya’ Gills, Handsomeness, Dirty Diamonds, Boxing Tips, Budz, Civil Swords, Panic Rooms

Happy Presidents Day, everyone! Join us as we reflect upon the executive successes of administrations past, present and future, and also as we talk about which Presidents are the cutest. Suggested talking points: Prez Fight, Pinterest, Fly Exam, Psychic Battlefield, Lady Dupe, Scoville Units, Tv Freebase, Dig Deep No Fear, Jeopardy Angels

We can’t think of an episode that’s as timely and relevant as the one you’re about to listen to. Just in time for the Oscars, we’re bringing you some truly sage-like movie talk. Sadly, that movie came out in 2004, and was the worst thing ever. Suggested talking points: P.O.D., Impossible Dave, President Lamppost, Getting Zucked, Squatching, Dickolletage, Without a Paddle

We know that you’d never be so bold as to ask us to talk about relevant events like college basketball championships — so we went ahead and fulfilled that request for you. We know, it’s like we share a single brain! Now, we’re going to make you think about nachos. Suggested talking points: Hoop Bros, Stop Snitchin’, Tieboner, Babydoctor, Lock up Your Kids, Coal-Fired Internet, Gallagher v. Gallagher, A Recap of Brett Favre’s Career

It’s a week of highs and lows for the McElroy bros, ranging from tragic revelations about Golden Corral visits to how great it would be if famous Hollywood actors were actually Pokemon. Stuff it! Suggested talking points: The Sore Tooth, Bat Pelts, Pet Celebrities, The Game of Bones, Making it Dwayne, “Put Your Soap in My Soap,” Continental Divide, OG Water

Ssh. Oh, man. You guys are going to have to keep it down this week. We’re feeling a little under the weather, which is to say, under the exorbitant number of St. Patrick’s Day beverages we consumed. Let’s just get through this one, okay? Suggested talking points: A Quiet Podcast With the Lights Off, Hunger Games: Abridged, Little Monsters Only, Playplace Wedding, Its’a Me Kevin, President Doritos

It’s the first part of our two-part Max Fun Drive extravaganza! Reach into them pockets, and pull out whatever’s in there, and then throw that away. We don’t want your change, folks. We want sky-high stacks of crisp American bills. Suggested talking points: Chuckle Tax, Terra Nova, The Thickness, First Impression Beans, Secret Marriage, Dungeons and Death, Dropping LBs, Step By Step

It’s our second, super long MaxFunDrive special! We’re celebrating by introducing our new Wrestlemania-themed podcast within a podcast, and by talking about which common household objects are dangerous for you to press your genitals into. Suggested talking points: Wrestlemania, Annoiding, Truckin’, Conversational Currency, Sexting, Sleep Death Pods, Skyscared, Butter Doesn’t Work

Looks like we’ve made it! Look how far we’ve come, our babies. MaxFunDrive 2012 was a raging success, and it’s all because you fine folks are so, so good to us. To thank you for your efforts, today’s episode is pretty nasty. Suggested talking points: Buried Alive, OkCupid Skinsuit, Swimfanning, Family Nudity, Tower Heisting, Momnapping, Bishop the Thundarian, Bathroom Preparedness

It’s our hundredth episode, and it’s also our two-year anniversary. Are you prepared for the celebration? Are you in a place where you can mentally handle 112 minutes of goofing? Is your spirit prepared for all the check-ins from past advisees? We hope so, because we really can’t do this without you. Suggested talking points: Send in the Clowns, Borrible’d, Buttking, Neo-Nunnie, Juicy and Delicious, Stapler Thief, Tiesson, Dinklage Town, Tradeskills, Possession Shedding, Teeth, Behind the Scenes, Doorframe Bathtub, Jorsten Blaber

You thought we were going to call it quits after a hundred episodes? We’ll be honest — we considered it. But we managed to overcome our extreme exhaustion to bring you another episode chock-full of tangents and straight-up gobbledigook. Suggested talking points: Holo-B.I.G., Leap Anniversary, Scorpion Improvement, Recovery Sandwich Recovery, Choose Your Own Adventure, Wingmanning, The Theme to Doug, Lady and the Tramp Killer

As you spend an hour with us this week, we ask you to reflect about all the hours you’ve spent with us, and then think about all the partying that you haven’t done yet, and then, just, wow, what are you doing? Suggested talking points: International Flair, Limitless Sunshine, Tween Dating, Cubicle Fort, Austin Powers Stroke, Tiny Stenographer, Discarded Gigapet

In a continued effort to synergize our product to its maximum potential, we’ve teamed up with The Avengers this week to bring you the super-est episode of MBMBaM yet. Just don’t forget, dear listeners: With terrible advice comes little to no responsibility. Suggested talking points: Avengers Assemble, Life Coach, Karate Court, Dog Dick Limbo, Tempura Face, Customer Creeping, Pizza n’ Dippins, Cop Tales, Chris Tucker Impressions, Spaceship Lingerie Football

It was a pretty momentous week, wasn’t it? We know you’re expecting to hear our erudite evaluation of recent events, but we can’t do that for you, because we’re not erudite, nor are we “news people.” Suggested talking points: Independence Gay, Expiration Date, Raccoon Chocolate Heist, Gosling Party, Kara-okay, D for Nachos, Prom Noise, Tumblr Dog

Chuck! Chuck, it’s MBMBaM! Your cousin, MBMBaM? You know that new comedy advice podcast you’re looking for? Well, listen to this! Suggested talking points: Miners Part 3, Foreplexting, Jedi Bush, Askalate, Butt Problems, Geof & Ron Continued, Chubby Choker, Earl of Daveshire

Keep it locked to 104.3, WRVMBMBAM, for all your classic rock summer time jam needs. We’re cranking out the hits from your favorite rock gods, like Ratt, and also Yahoo Answers. Suggested talking points: Summer Rock Block, Flirty Fortune Cookie, High-Drive, Wanted Two, Irresistible, The Three Year Gap, Cereals, Titter, Escape Plan

This episode probably sports our worst audio quality to date, which we apologize for. We figured that an episode that made it sound like we were screaming at you while covered in bees would be better than no episode at all.

What dark forces could have possibly conspired to bring you this episode of MBMBaM? Jetlag likely played an important role, but some of the content is so heinous, Chtulhu’s intervention seems like the only likely cause. Suggested talking points: Moleman Sword, Whimsical Road Trip, Japanese Dale Earnhardt’s Ghost, In the Cloud, Pam-Body/Garf-Head, Public Gaming, Rough Stuff

In this episode, we try our darndest to humiliate our own father into submission, and have a surprisingly earnest discussion about the trials and tribulations of being as famous as we clearly are. Suggested talking points: Dad Tales, Between Dunst and Buscemi, Bow and Arrow and Guitar, Mrs. Ronkonkomaw, Sleepy Office, Epsilon Dog, Corncob Goldbars, Hoarders, Knuckle Tats

It’s so hot in the studio, gang. So, so hot. Logic and reason tend to leave the room as waves of molten hot air move in. It’s like our ability to keep it together was displaced by degrees. Suggested talking points: Brave Fever, Bugle Bones, Wayne Knightverse, Mrazzle Dazzle, Nose Douching, Prefixin’, Vacation Tips, Yahoo Nonsense, Jaded

After a one-week forced sabbatical (thanks, derecho!), we’re back and wetter than ever, ready to dole out all manner of advice on subjects we know little to nothing about. Except for derecho survival. We’re basically experts on that, now. Suggested talking points: Derecho Apocalypse, Forever Smell, Roommate Boundaries, Godwind, Straight-Edge Shrek, Illegal Cat Movies

For this week’s episode, we suggest gathering all your loved ones in a room, and then running away from and locking that room, and then listening to the episode as far away from them as you can possibly get. Suggested talking points: Thmoreth, Tom Jones Humblebrag, Grad Rags, Costco Actor, Snorks v. Dance Crews, Magic Mike Abridged

People all over the world: Join hands. Start a love train. Now, throw this episode of MBMBaM into the firey engine of that train. Let us power your train until it pulls into Good-Time Station. Suggested talking points: Willard Defense Fund, Frasier’s Nine Lives, Horses of the Sea, Hotel Tipping, Beard Arousal, All of the Words, Heroism

Things get awfully real in this week’s episode. There’s really not a plethora of questions, actually: Just a few deep, deep dives into matters of the heart that will likely touch you. Right on the heart. Suggested talking points: Olympic Orgy, Swingers, Squeaky Greg, Smell Shirt, Fault Tart, A 25-Minute Treatise on Nerd Shame

Hello, oldest brother Justin McElroy here. I’ve taken over posting duties from Griffin this week, but I don’t really know the things he normally writes. Does he just try to get you excited about it? Cause man, this episode … it’s got, you know, jokes. Jokes for miles. Oh man, the goof to not goof ratio, she’s just dizzying. Suggested talking points: Oh shit, what goes here? Like, the things we talked about? Umm, there was the thing about John Candy and the Jamaican Running Team, Griffin said “straight up Christmas crazy” and then we did the Womenade thing that I mentioned before and … I don’t know, it had lots of jokes.

Griffin has returned from beautiful Germany and his once luminescent innocence has been replaced by a gnarled core of schnitzel. This week, watch as older brothers Justin and Travis attempt to delve into his psyche and wrest the last spark of humanity buried beneath the thick chitin of jet lag that surrounds his heart. Also: Fart jokes. Suggested talking points: Sticky ‘Bo, The Familiar Stranger, Sap Caps, Fur Kids, The Wiffenpoofs, Ritter Rider, Zynga’s Latest Hit, “we were very clinical about it.”

Summer’s coming to a close, but we’re still riding high aboard the SS MBMBaM. The boat drinks are flowing, we’ve got a no-limit charge card at Extreme Restraints and the Republicans are one step closer to realizing our nation’s long-held dream of getting a rich dude elected president. These, friends, are the golden years. But can they last? Suggested talking points: If You Like Romneycoladas, Griffin literally forgets the vice president’s name for like five minutes, Slammo Jammo’d, “We’ve helped literally no one,” “Game of Thrones, I finally get it.”

Just … just don’t eat while listening to this episode. Please? Suggested talking points: God Loves Pogs, Good Good Washer Boy, Exclusive Sneak Peek: How I Met Your Mother Finale, Wall Decor, Dyspepsia, Justin’s Ghost Tours, Kafkaesque

Which football team has the best ball-runners? Which quarterback’s arm is the hottest? Which catcher’s got the stickiest hands? Who’s got the drive, the hunger for touchdowns? Tune in for our sage-like Fantasy Footbal Tips. Suggested talking points: Final Fantasy Football, Don’t the Don’t, Bide’d, Bareback, My Last Husband, Birthday Break-Up, Dad’s Emojis

It is the grandest tradition of all time that, should a new Beverly Hills Chihuahua visit itself upon the world, MBMBaM shall celebrate its arrival. Come to us, brothers and sisters. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Suggested Talking Points: BHC3, Dad in Law Fight, 11:11, Jeezy in the Room, Burger Kingdom, Slowbro, Tat Prenup, 50 Shades

Ah, Fall. Smell the crisp autumn leaves and squash-scented candles. See the children, begrudgingly returning to school. Hear three brothers talk about the dark secrets of Juggalo Nation. Salty Chocolate, Gift of Gab, Horsebush, Da-a-a-ddy, Dude Food, Juggalo Shame

We put our hard-nosed political reporting skills to the test in this week’s episode, as we uncover one of the biggest voter fraud conspiracies in our nation’s history. We DEMAND justice. Suggested talking points: Rock the Vote or Die, What do you Think, Water Intake, Hipster Whoopi, Baby Ducked, Extra Meatus, Watch Advice, Student Body

We suggest you take the proper precautionary measures to fend off the unseasonal chill that’s swept this country of ours. Maybe wrap yourself in a Sheetz quilt, or just let us whisper into your ears for 10 uninterrupted minutes. Suggested talking points: Gas Station Blanket, Quad City Gangbang, Sexy Dan Aykroyd, Honeyhands, Noodling the Loaf, Two on the Floor, Weed Whispers

Happy Max Fun Day, everyone! To celebrate today’s most-special of holidays, we’ve created our most Fleetwood Mac-est episode yet. We just know you’re gonna love it. Suggested talking points: Second Hand News, Dreams, Never Going Back Again, Don’t Stop, Go Your Own Way, Songbird, The Chain, You Make Loving Fun, I Don’t Want to Know, Oh Daddy, Gold Dust Woman

We know that this particular episode may seem directionless, even more so than the typical MBMBaM experience. To that criticism, we would respond: Not all who wander are lost. Yeah? Think about that, critic guy. Suggested talking points: Penthouse to Basement, Ghost Combos, Splitting Tips, Woodcock, Flying Knife, Usher’s Advocate

Ya’ll ready to get SPOOKED? It’s like an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark up in this piece, only way, way scarier, and way, way less Canadian. Suggested talking points: MBMBM, Ghost Realtor, EMF Reviews, The Elder Jeffert, Ghostholes, Spooky Believer, Ghost President

You have a very, very important decision to make this week, friends: What kind of birthday presents should you get Justin and Travis? What do they deserve? What color goes best with their eyes? Suggested talking points: Kindling, Coffee Camper, Jackie’s Boner Brew, Ocean’s Fourteen, Funky Unky Dunky, OK Cupid Freaks

Sex and death are the two most powerful primal forces in life, friends, so it’s time we sit down and have a frank, overdue discussion about the two. Only, not at the same time. Because, gross. Suggested talking points: Gift Registry, Today Show Slash Fic, Burnin’ Rubber, Get Busy Child, Shitty Iron Man, Food Incentive, Down The Sexual Oubliette

Happy Franksgiving! This week, we’re sharing our thankfulness for aggressive hip-hop dance moves, drugs for horses, and having sex with Craigslist. Suggested talking points: Praying Mantis, Horse Weed, Recovery Pop-Tart, Holy Krump, Pecan Thief, Old Strength

Time to unpack your stockings and wreaths, or whatever the Candlenights equivalent of stockings and wreaths is: We officially on that Christmas Creep. Suggested talking points: Creepin’, Noseblind, Teenbaby, YOLO School, Large Marge, Lotion and Candles

Justin learned the power of his own shirtless form, Travis read a whole book (without help!) and Griffin got engaged. It truly is an important week for our family’s growth and well-being. Suggested talking points: The Quintuple B, M’load, Garfield Surgery, The Time Travis Almost Saw Neil Diamond, Dildos in Disguise, Shoe Slogans, Secret Butt Presses, Gift of the Magerbil

We’ve got one week until Candlenights, an episode known for its cleanliness and familial accessibility. You know what that means? This week, we’re exclusively talkin’ ’bout dicks. Suggested talking points: The Garden, Blastercard, Casper The Super Conservative Ghost, Life Apps, Sreven, Shower Karate, Romancing the Parents, Santa Barn Farce

As with past installments in our annual Candlenights spectacular, we’ve managed to talk to one another for an entire hour without cursing, so it’s good to share with the fam. Well, we actually cursed a lot. But we edited that out. Suggested talking points: Holiday MagiQuest, A Collander of DVDs, The Buckiverse, Frosty the Homunculus I Made Out of Wet Sand, Book in a Sock, Two Turntables, Tim Curry’s Pokemon Treats

We’re closing out this year with a thorough discussion of what Tom Hanks looks like down there, because we love you, and frankly, we think we’re spending a little too much time together. A little separation in 20-Bakers-Doz is just what the doctor ordered. Suggested talking points: Old Langs Sign, Dog Chocolate, Family Circus Dubstep Drop, Christmas Cards, Don’t Let Me Into My Slippies, Rebounders, Subway Nugs, Semmeomaway, Tom Hanks Method Bush