All I want to do is talk about Madonna

Mark and Kenny hit the dance floor for Season Five to begin a conversation about Confessions on a Dance Floor - Madonna’s TWELFTH album - and the anthemic first single. Topics include lucky butterfly necklaces, Martha Raye and the lost Texas Guinan musical, Wilson Stone, Luc Besson, Stuart Price and Zoot Woman, Depeche Mode, the allure of the Twenties, ABBA (naturally), Gwen Stefani, Johan Renck, summer songs, Damon Albarn, the gorgeous Arianne Phillips, Hunter College, John Norris and the fade of MTV, Cynthia McFadden, Kenny’s regularity at breakfast time, Dua Lipa, Chus & Ceballos, the bad-ass Tracy Young, the many MANY promo appearances, Coachella, and that former friend who suggests Madonna gets up on that damn horse. Plus, Mark schools Kenny on who Madonna would play in A Chorus Line (hint: it’s not Val!). “Time goes by so slowly …” but not for this MEGA-episode.

Kenny and Mark get moody and urgent on the second track (and third single!) from Confessions on a Dance Floor. Topics include: Anders Bagge & Peer Astrom, 98 Degrees, Janet Jackson, Chaka Khan, the high-drama of strings on a dance floor, Barbra Streisand’s Guilty & Saturday Night Fever, Eugene Riecansky & Koko Club, The Beatles, group photos, the fresh and hard-working Angela Becker, Mark’s tribute to the indispensable Borderline Music record store in Chicago, and how threesomes/orgies are complicated - but it’s still sweeter in the end.

Mark and Kenny don’t save their words as they discuss the dramatically timeless and Great Madonna pop singles. Topics include Big Frieda, radio ignorance, Dutch linguistics, the glorious Pet Shop Boys and the lost 80s collaborations, the risk of being too serious, Jamie King, Miss Prissy, pimping the ride, Little C, Paul Oakenfold, Jane Fonda, the Madonna bangs, Straight Bait (“where else can you make $100 for twenty minutes?”), Alex Barber, the breathless Fred Tallaksen, the Talauega Brothers, cages, and a frank discussion about balls. Plus, an all-skate down memory lane for Kenny and Mark’s roller skating experiences. Ik ben droevig!

Kenny and Mark flip over the first side of the album with the glorious return of Mirwais for this adventurous track. Topics include Donna Summer and Giorgio Moroder, Madonna as teacher, letting go of illusions and dreams, and the stunning (okay iconic) live performance. Will Tina call us back?

Mark and Kenny - long time New Yorkers - trade city origin stories, adventures, and favorite love (and lust) songs about New York while celebrating Madonna’s ultimate ode to her creative home. Topics include Liza Minnelli, Oberlin College, Salt ’n’ Pepa, St. Vincent, Frank Sinatra, Edward Albee, Chita Rivera, Harry Nilsson, Andrew WK, Rufus Wainwight, Debbie Harry, Moby, and the beloved bitches of Miami. Let’s hit those streets and start strutting!

Kenny and Mark pull out their fine-toothed combs to translate and interpret the many messages Madonna is trying to impart while she burns. Plus, Mark grapples with the word “fame” and Kenny makes a strong case for the sleazy live version of the song. Plus, a twirl through one of the lesser, other Mirwais collaborations that didn’t quite make the record and a return of the birds!

Mark and Kenny go full-on music nerd dissecting the haunting “second” ode to forbidden love by discussing the nuances and beauty of the song, the poetry of its lyrics, the romanticism of its environment, and their own personal brushes with forbidden desire, lust, and intimacy.

Kenny and Mark rejoice in the return of brother-in-law Joe Henry and the 80s Madonna on the joyous and self-motivating fourth single from Confessions on a Dance Floor. Kenny thinks outside of the box with alternate single roll-out scenarios, multi-lingual versions, and covert songwriting sessions in London; Mark confesses to being the victim of a theft and gets fired from a corporate job! Plus, a grappling with a disastrous wig, discovering obscure acoustic versions - AND a warm revisit of one of the ultimate b-sides: HISTORY!!! Are you ready?

Mark and Kenny get deeply philosophical about the road to fame and which mountain you choose when you’ve climbed to the top of one. Plus, a discussion of the Swedes, Britany Spears’ classic song “Toxic”, and count how many times Mark says “saloon.” Does this get ANY better, folks?

Kenny and Mark wrestle with the cluttered emotional climax of Confessions on a Dance Floor. Plus, Madonna schools Stuart and side-steps controversy, Kenny leads a celebration of the “Madonna of the East”, and Mark stalks locked churches. The wordless Madonna chants are back and nobody could be happier - will it ever be the same?

Mark and Kenny welcome Special Guest (and long time listener!) Gia Zampella for a frank and candid discussion about influence, restless songwriting, grappling with ambition and perfectionism, Madonna action figures, secret tattoos, and the many ways that the trusted ones push us into better versions of ourselves. It was a total treat to have Gia join this conversation Gia Zampella is a lifelong resident of Jersey City, NJ and beauty product developer by trade. She’s also a life long pop culture evangelist who particularly loves female pop and rock stars, most of all Madonna.

Kenny and Mark celebrate the final song from Confessions on a Dance Floor with Special Guest - the writer/director/editor and STAR of the film Chrissy Judy - Todd Flaherty. Topics include the return of the guitar, Bloodshy & Avant, personal credos, and how self-acceptance and empowerment might just be the greatest aphrodisiac. Then, Mark and Kenny geek out over Todd’s amazing film, discussing the origins, the impact and discovery of drag, the importance of non-romantic queer friendships, and the healing powers of Provincetown. Plus, Todd joins Kenny and Mark in some ultimate confessions - and a bonus track discussion of the lost B-Side “Super Pop”! Are you in our gang?

Mark and Kenny embark on the cool and calm conversation about Madonna’s (lucky) seventh concert tour on this Uber-long episode. Topics include the end of nostalgia, Kenny’s continuing aversion to the musical interludes, the return of transformed classics, Mark’s imagined wedding, a new Nikki (with two k’s), Monte’s commuting schedule, Madonna’s true arrival as a punk rocker, Isaac’s vocal prowess, upstaging Donna DeLory, a polarizing jacket collar, Mark’s distain for hotel buffets, and what might be the ultimate live Madonna song. It’s all here and more - are you ready to ride with me?

Kenny and Mark celebrate the first solo-penned song by Madonna since 1985 as well as one of THE masterful live performances of her career - Live Earth 2007! Topics include the beauty and the challenge of a charity single, the arrival of Pharrell Williams, the return of Mirwais, children’s choirs, jealous aunts, Gogol Bordello, Filth & Wisdom, David Banda, the vibe of a Madonna “hat”, being part of a band, and the pleasures of a full company bow (we’ll miss you most of all, Donna). Over to YOU, New York!

Mark and Kenny unwrap a new album, a new song, and new collaborators as Madonna swerves again. Topics include Pharrell Williams, Timbaland, Justin Timberlake, packed interview days, H&M campaigns, mid tempo grooves, promo tours, boxing gloves, a strange cape cushion, and favorite candies sticky, crunchy and sweet. It’s your one-stop Madonna shoppe. Lick away, baby!

Kenny and Mark break down the troublesome first single from HARD CANDY and the larger campaign to launch the album into the world. Topics include Timbaland & Timberlake, lyrical translations and burdening horns, an empty home office, teenagers making out in videos, Reese Witherspoon, picking up “stroll”, and why the kids still never forgot it. Plus Peter Rauhofer takes us around the world and Madonna is inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame!

Mark and Kenny fly off the rails discussing the hard-charging (and second single) track from HARD CANDY. Cow bells, mantras, vacuum cleaners, photo shoots as videos, organized jewelry, the gloves, armless Madonna, Infinity, early mash-ups, and overcoming queer body-shame. Plus, a friend is phoned - Special Guest Marquitos from the Marquitos Podcast joins the conversation to take a breath and access HARD CANDY’s larger legacy. Get Stupid!

Mark and Kenny brainstorm Madonna assignment song ideas for the AIWTDITAM EP (including the soon-to-be classic ballad “Table for One” and “Meet Cute”) alongside another synth-fueled collaboration w/ Pharrell about the dance floor. Topics include Madonna’s beating heart and climbing vocals, the revelations in the original Pharrell demo, Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger, victorian bodices, Emma Thompson, Jamie Lloyd’s revival of SUNSET BOULEVARD, reality game shows, Grizabella, Paula Abdul, and the bootie breakdown. Plus, Kenny and Mark bust out some hot tamales and discuss the lost track “Ring My Bell” (not a cover of Anita Ward’s classic). A little lower baby!

Kenny and Mark consider the third single (and best song) from Hard Candy, especially the struggle between the Timberlake/Timbaland production and the beauty and ideas in Madonna’s song. Topics include acoustic guitars, nasty UK tabloids, A-Rod, the tour video and Madonna’s joy, touring love affairs, the futility of long-distance phone calls, redundant remixes, the end of the true confessional ballad, and the power (and pain) of long distance relationships. Plus, Mark and Kenny audibly digest lemon drops, recover the lost JT/T session track “Across the Sky” and discuss the paragons of virtue. No more candy!

Mark and Kenny bust out their cowbells and attitude with the sassy story-song Pharrell (welcome back!) collaboration from Hard Candy. Topics include the importance of lightness and bounce, the great Wendy Melvoin, passing off batons, the easy narrative of infidelity, traffic in the suburbs, Donna Summers, dutiful wives and resentful musicians, Madonna’s Liz Phair album, the Pet Shop Boys, Alexis Arquette, Gwenyth Paltrow and Tracy Anderson, a nod to the 1999 MTV Video Music Awards, Lady Gaga, and the DILF that IS Robbie Williams and his song (and video!) “She’s Madonna.” Plus, Mark confesses to an addiction and Kenny teases his own singles campaign for Hard Candy. This one’s for the ladies!

Kenny and Mark unwrap some Starbursts and grapple with the longest and most divisive track on Hard Candy. Topics include sorrowful subtext, diaristic detail, romantic partners as best friends, the benefits (and danger) of building a song entirely in the studio, Guy Ritchie’s dancing, David Banda, the cost of getting back to where you used to be, tall assignments and working outside of comfort zones, and the secret weapon on the entire album. Is THIS the true Pharrell duet on Hard Candy?

Mark and Kenny celebrate the infectious and joyous call to the dance floor (and to arms) on Hard Candy. Topic’s include Dylan’s Candy Store, soda pop ads, covert guest spots, disco strings, Kanye West, Taylor Swift, Kim Kardashian, the Songwriters Hall of Fame, the hippie demo version, Sonny & Cher, chasing “Believe”, “Houdini” by Dua Lipa, Eve’s version “The Beat is So Crazy”, and a hidden remix. Plus, Kenny’s mind-blowing dream campaign for the Hard Candy singles, and everyone swears off chewing. Stand in the back - or BE a STAR!

Kenny and Mark remain on the dance floor with Madonna (Timberlake and Timbaland) for a simmering song about moving your body. Topics include thick beats, smoking grass, Madonna as professor, musical courtships, the weirdness of star billing, NPR’s Tiny Desk series, the virtues of being beautiful or interesting, Janet Jackson’s Discipline, apocalyptic chaos, Justin’s voice, artistic flexing, and who’s exactly taking WHO to the club. Plus a discussion on the shift in focus from classic songwriting structure to production that epitomizes the sound (and culture) of the late 2000s. Do you wanna take it further?

Mark and Kenny dive back into their respective school days to discuss the joyfully divisive palate cleanser of a song from Hard Candy. Topics include Mrs. Ritchie the Art Teacher, banging erasers, phonetic worksheets and language lessons, Monte Pittman, hooded monks, and The Percolator. Plus EXTRA SPECIAL GUESTS Parrita Duarte and Augustin Aguirre (hosts of the magnifico/caliente Spanish podcast Santa Madonna) join for a deep discussion on Madonna’s long history embracing and celebrating Latin American culture, communal celebration, Parri’s and Augustin’s favorite HC tracks, Death Becomes Her, Madonna’s visits to Argentina, especially during the filming of Evita, extra special moments that were cut from the Sticky and Sweet tour film, their personal singalong with Madonna when the electricity went out, and forging friendships through Madonna fandom. Plus, some spanish lesson corrections and re-discovering the lost and haunting “Latte.” Baby, I’m on to your game!

Kenny and Mark celebrate the return of Brother-in-Law of the Decade Joe Henry and the haunting story song ballad from Hard Candy. PLUS - at long last - a reckoning and reassessment of Madonna’s film directing debut, Filth & Wisdom. Spoilers abound so do yourself a favor and head over to the indispensable www.ifc.com to stream the film beforehand! Thank you and you’re welcome!