• The theory that even if someone angrily tells you to apologize on the spot over the phone, you can just pretend to do it and get away with it
• The theory that a smoker comedian, even if told by a panicked staff member that their partner has collapsed just as they light a cigarette, will still take at least one puff before discarding it
• The theory that if "everyone has at least one interesting story to tell," then even ordinary people on the street barely have one
