Celebrity Deathmatch

The Laser Pointer (2x14)

Air date: Jul 29, 1999

1. Elton John vs. Ozzy Osbourne 2. Martha Stewart vs. Sandra Bernhard Main Event: Tom Hanks vs. Sean Penn Summaries: 1. Elton John vs. Ozzy Osbourne The queen watches as Sir Elton John and Ozzy Osbourne battle. Near the end, Elton John stamps on Ozzy and everyone thinks he's dead. Then Elton attacks the queen so that he can have her crown and be queen (yes, queen). But then Ozzy recovers, and bites off Elton's head! It gets stuck in his throat, so the queen uses the hemlich to force Elton's head out and over the crowd! 2. Martha Stewart vs. Sandra Bernhard The arena is nicely decorated arena, lit by candles as well as the overhead lights. Martha hot glues Sandra's head to the ground, shovels out Sandra's insides, and uses them to make Christmas ordaments! Main Event: Tom Hanks vs. Sean Penn Hanks (who is portrayed in his famous long beard and hair from 'Cast Away') is Hollywood's Nice Guy, so he's too polite to fight back against tough guy Penn. Yet when Sean Penn bea