Podge and Rodge: A Scare at Bedtime

Podge concludes by warning that "your bath might become your coffin", and launches eagerly into another gruesome tale. Enda Meeshan, who hailed from the spectacularly named Bigarsedladies, Lima, Peru, was studying genetic science ("the study of the very fabric of nature, and not your fiddly bits") in Dublin.

And taking the case of the Backdoor Man as an example. Flush Lavatory (a silk-shirted, moustachied, open-shirted, gold jewellery sporting, through-and-through Dub) and his wife Nuala had just moved into the new housing development at Godownonme Crescent.

Rodge scorns the old wives' tale, but is hastily faced with the story of Franky O'Friction, a businessman who was extremely fond of spanking the monkey.

"More people have died on golf courses in Ireland than in the Famine". He races into the tale of Glengobble Golf Club, starring Jimmy "Clint" Eastwood.

Podge reprimands his brother for giving so much attention to the pet, launching into the details of Mad Dog McGuire - "an infamous bastard".

This broadcast begins with the happy news that Jimmy Durgan has found his leg. Then it was over to D.J. Rodge for the weather report - "mild". D.J. Podge mentions that it is a special day indeed, as the Screw You porno shop is celebrating 17 years of business.

You go ahead and dance the arse off yourself, you'll only end up like Seamus McAnus, you scuttering gobsheen pup".

Podge begins by reprimanding Rodge's trip to the big smoke (Mullingar), and in particular to the supermarket. "Are you sick or excited or what?" He launches - rather dramatically - into the tale of "THE MAN IN THE ARAN MASK".

Ever aware, Rodge "feels another one of your tales coming on". Sure enough, Podge begins to speak of Willie Shuvin, "a decent enough stick".

Podge's ears prick up. "Menage a trois?" "Does that have garlic in it?" - to which Podge attributes his newfound "arse ache". He tells the tale of Larry Lang, or Banger Lang, as he was known.

"The Ballad Of The Field Mouse" ushers in this latest broadcast from Ballydung Radio.

Most Christmas parties end in tears", apparently. He cites the following tale as an example. Rudi Member and his girlfriend Jenny Talia were both employed by the same software firm.

Podge remembers fondly what their dead father used to call his son when all dressed up - "a little fecking magical bastard".

The Story of Neil Down of Blowme Industries and his taxation issues...

In a rather bizarre role reversal, Rodge concludes some tale of terror by intoning that "his scrotum was the only thing found". Podge states that whilst he's not afraid of ghosts, he just doesn't like them.

Talk of suitcases leads Podge to bravely offer the tale of Ireland's most notorious career criminal - The Banana. So called because of his slippery nature.

Rodge puts two and two together, and asks if their parents are dead. Matter-of-factedly, Podge tells him "yeah, fifteen years ago", and repeats the terrible tale of sleep slaughter.

Rodge ponders his other options - "run away with a freak show". Such talk leads Podge by the nose to the tale of the Busby & McMahon Travelling Theatre Of The Grotesque.