Let's Drown Out

In a probably futile attempt to keep the momentum going on this new idea, we did another one just one week after the first. This week, Gabriel plays a rather dodgily-emulated version of Blue Stinger for the Dreamcast while the conversation rambles disjointedly around the philosophies of Kickstarter, Youtube copyright claiming and dogs jumping out of butts.

Gabriel and I pioneer the concept of Let's Drown Out, a hybrid of Let's Play and podcast in which a visually dull game is played and we resort to a list of podcast topics when we run out of things to say. In this inaugural video, I play Quake 2 and we discuss pranking, next-gen consoles, and societal problems. Come join the revolution.

In a twist on the format, we play an actually good game, but try to make it boring by playing it in a boring way. The game, unfortunately, fights this endeavour tooth and nail. Meanwhile, we discuss the problems with modern warfare shooters and what to sing on a family road trip.

We lost our first take of this so enjoy the angry energy that infuses Gabriel's second playthrough of the classic arcade brawler. On the way we discuss our new year resolutions and Gabriel offers his stupid opinions on my game of the year pick. Be warned that our conversation turns a bit racy at times, 'cos that's what tends to happen when Gabriel and I watch perfect masculine specimens rubbing their pectorals together.

Enjoy this lazy, chilled out session as we discuss Disney's machinations, new game concepts and the best medium for giant penis facsimiles, while actually doing something constructive for once, however many times Gabriel tries to talk me into firebombing my neighbour's turf. Yes, we're playing Minecraft. A game severely underserved by LP videos, I think Youtube only has about seven or eight million of them.

Gabriel plays a game he quite likes from his childhood which becomes boring to watch because of all the dying he does 'cos he's shit at it. Meanwhile, we discuss console sales reports and the export of Australian television.

It's temporarily back to our old ways as we showcase a retro adventure game with a post-commentary video, but eventually fall back into our new habits and talk about Xbox One Machinima flappery, the Candy Crush Saga copyright flappery, and how not to end an adventure game.

It's cheeky Gabriel's turn to play and he picked a game I have less interest in than the contents of a sweaty carpenter's jockstrap. We discuss Playstation Now news, the state of Nintendo, and Dark Souls, while Gabriel expresses all his secret man-fantasies and I improvise songs about lovely kisses.

This week I picked out Hexen, the infuriating guess-what-door-you-just-opened simulator, which swiftly reminds me and Gabriel of a similar but much better game that is currently our mutual favourite, and which we then refuse to stop banging on about. In between gushes, however, we also manage to discuss Dungeon Keeper Mobile and have a brief falling out over Flappy Bird.

Gabriel brings along a game that is neither Silent Hill nor Resident Evil, but which most definitely is a tie-in for a popular 90's television programme. While that's going nowhere fast, we discuss tie-in games generally and the upcoming wave of big quarter 1 releases. Also: our first ever Youtube copyright tussle. Yay!

To mend our increasingly bickery relationship, I engineer a simulated cohabitation for avatars of myself and Gabriel, who proceed to bitingly satirise our actual lives. Meanwhile, we talk about basically bugger all 'cos it's a slow news week.

What better way to pay tribute to the late Harold Ramis than to watch his super-deformed avatar get hit by every single hazard in Ghostbusters for the SEGA Genesis because Gabriel's shit at games? While he bumbles his way to victory with the infinite lives cheat on, we also discuss Peter Molyneux and gay representation among video game protagonists, ineptly. PS. Yes, we realised after the fact that there was a mouse cursor on screen the whole time. Learn to live with him. His name's Clive.

We till the motherfucking shit out of the soil in this earnest appreciation for tile-based farming games from an age before the genre went all social media on us. While winkling tortured innuendo from every possible hole we also cover Batman: Arkham Knight, hypothetical new game-to-film adaptations, and how ironic is too ironic.

Gabriel finally has the time to grace us with his presence, and embarks upon an abortive cycling tour of one of the in-betweener Grand Theft Autos. We also talk about a whole bunch of things I can't be bothered to itemise into a list. Get that maple syrup warming, viewers, 'cos we're gonna get our waffle on.

Gabriel and I discover at length that we don't have any particularly strong opinion on the Facebook - Oculus VR thing, and then start talking about the Count of Monte Cristo for some reason, while playing the first Silent Hill under a special custom condition that I have named Stupid American Developer. Sorry, did I say 'developer'? I meant Stupid American Tourist.

Dissuaded from doing Phantasmagoria 1, Gabriel instead does the sequel, a game neither of us know jack shit about. Which explains why I keep saying Roberta Williams wrote it, when in fact Lorelei Shannon did. Whoops. That is by far the worst thing that happens in this video. Except the sound quality. And the acting. And everything we talk about.

I play the classic platformer on Richter mode - no story, no items, no worries - while Gabriel and I discuss such topics as the Heartbleed Bug, technology, and why can't celebrities stop dying all over the place. We most definitely do not talk about social justice this time.

Gabriel plays a game which, like many, he is shit at. But in this case it may be more to do with his reduced number of platelets, or perhaps the game assaulting him with helpful gameplay hints the whole way through. Meanwhile, with fuck all much going on to talk about, we discuss some films we watched and how Steve Irwin fulfilled his marital obligations.

Gabriel and I discover why it's called Euro Truck Simulator as opposed to Euro Truck STIMulator. On a delightful road trip through France we find there's not much worth talking about but somehow manage to meander through various topics anyway, most of which I've forgotten. I do remember that we've got some pretty reductive ideas of what truck drivers are like.

We have a crack at the 'masterpiece edition' of the 'classic' adventure 'game' and go somewhere between nowhere slow and nowhere fast. We also talk about the leaked Advanced Warfare trailer and some films we watched. Coo.

Prepare to faff about like you've never faffed before as we continue playing an Assassin's Creed game long after all possible fun has been extracted from it. While we're doing that we also accidentally trap ourselves into talking about Nintendo's homophobia scandal, some films we watched and the upcoming Constantine series. Watch out for an incredible twist ending!

What better game exists to commemorate the late H. R. Giger than the seminal classic Alien 3 for the SNES? Besides Dark Seed, but Retsupurae already did that one. We also discuss the Bombshell trailer and the Kinectless Xbone, and I think there's a mention of shitting on a glass coffee table buried in here somewhere.

To mark my birthday, we enjoy some proper "maturity" in-the-largest-quotation-marks-available-to-man with the Brutal Doom mod for Doom 2. We discuss the publicity of Watch Dogs, the lack of same for Half-Life 3, and draw just a bit too much amusement from the 'swear at people' button.

For no particular reason, Gabriel opts to play the very first GTA game, in all its camera-lurchy seasick glory. We also discuss the looming spectre of E3, the Ricky Gervais Show, that new X-men film they put out, and the usual complement of knob references.

Gabriel and I finally take some god damn responsibility and clean up that mess we made in Brutal Doom. During the process we idly pass the time discussing the three elephants in the room that is E3.

I made the foolish mistake of inviting Gabriel to play one of those fighting games he likes so much, and he responds by playing three of the buggers. Three of those many godawful fighting games with digitized live actors that came out after Mortal Kombat did alright. We also ramble vaguely around the topics of Phil Fish, the vagaries of internet fame, and isn't it a shame about Rik Mayall.

I entreat Gabriel to join me for a nice traditional Commodore 64 experience with the lesser-known LucasArts factory sim, but for some reason he can't seem to summon much enthusiasm. Then we talk about the Sims 4, the Nintendo/Philips lawsuit, and how much of a nob Gabriel is. Also the correct spelling of 'nob'.

Gabriel embraces his shit-at-gamesness to spend an entire virtual college fund on the classic arcade coin thief while the conversation tangents like a fucking triangle factory through the topics of sexism in professional gaming, recreational drugs, and the misuse of the Bioshock Infinite logo. Also, we revisit the situation from back in the Final Fight video where I get terribly frustrated at Gabriel for seriously overthinking the concept of 'game of the year', but don't worry, we're still pals.

After last week I felt it was time we calmed down with a nice relaxing arty game unhampered by anything as stressful as an actual 'game' aspect, and during a lovely walk in the woods we discuss new Smash Bros characters and EA being horrible again. We also clarify a couple of positions regarding last week's disagreement and American gun ownership. In the hope that you don't all come over on a boat and shoot us. And as mentioned in the video, feel free to post questions in the comments section that we can use to drive the chat in next week's video. As long as it's not 'where do you get your ideas'.

Gabriel plays one of his old Master System games and proceeds to utterly fail to sell me or anyone else on the sodding thing. The Ramble Express then visits the following stations: Doom (4), comic book headline grabbing, and pro gaming. We also debut the answering of questions that were put to us last week, as threatened. If you've got questions for next week, stick 'em in the comments below or direct them to Gabriel's twitter: @gabrielenguard

Gabriel and I discover a NEW DIMENSION IN HORROR. It's a pretty crap dimension, probably explains why nobody bothered discovering it. Also, in a bold format experiment, we ditch the whole news topics thing completely and solely answer audience questions. Coo!

We play the one game that, for some reason, Id Software opted to omit from the Complete Commander Keen Pack on Steam. I WONDER WHY. We also answer questions on sex, sci fi, and hard liquors. Why not take a shot of one every time Gabriel dies and blames something other than himself?

For reasons best known to myself I challenge myself to find a game based on the randomly-chosen word 'truth', settling on Monolith's rather lovely detective / class warfare simulator. We also manage to talk about a gaming topic related to Paul McCartney for three tenths of a nanosecond. (It's only in 360p because for some reason Youtube was throwing a shit fit about processing the 720p version, but it's not like the visuals are the important part)

Guided by last week's keyword, "Woman", Gabriel chooses the slightly suspect arty game by Tale of Tales. And I like to think we navigate this particular conversational can of worms adeptly, managing to only mention sexual assault fifty or sixty times.

We escape last week's can of worms only to find that during the week the world of gaming news opened up a nice big fresh one for us. Fortunately we manage to avoid the trap by declaring that we won't talk about it, and then proceed to talk about it for half a fucking hour. Oh yeah, and we play Thief 2 somewhere in the back of it all and Gabriel channels James Lipton. Whoops! We forgot to pick a keyword to drive Gabriel's choice for next week. No worries, we did it off-camera, and randomly drew the word 'testily'. So you have that to look forward to.

Gabriel finally finds a healthy outlet for the anger he feels when I discipline him for poor mic etiquette, while we talk about Nintendo, Saints Row 4, the impressions we can do and absolutely NOTHING else.

The seed word 'indistinct' leads us to the unrelentingly grim indie silhouette-fest, one of the major players in the subgenre of indie games involving small characters with big heads exploring scary worlds (this subgenre consists of every indie game ever). We try to keep our spirits up with discussions relating to commenting on things and Guardians of the Galaxy.

Gabriel rather predictably uses his special word 'hiiissss' to tell us a familiar story about naked snakes, forgetting that he hasn't stopped being shit at games yet. Fortunately we find an elegant solution for his shortcomings around the halfway mark, and have some vague discussion about politics and wealth.

For our very first co-op Drown Out, a slightly unwell Gabriel picks a game about Michael Jackson, and conversation turns towards sexual deviance about as quickly as you'd expect. He also drastically underestimates how long it takes to play through, but we manage to mask the repetition with conversation about Ubisoft's woes and Swedish rating systems.

WHOOPS we forgot to pick Gabe's next word again. No worries, we picked it off-screen, but you'll have to read to the end of this description to find out what it was. This week in Drown Out, we play some submarine thing and talk about horror games. The word was 'Slide'.

Gabriel gets into the habit of pre-recording his videos so that he will stop getting distracted by the game all the time, but sadly this measure does little to stop him talking bollocks the whole way through this incredibly misguided fighting game adapted from a film that was only tangentially about fighting. Bollocks specifically about 4chan, Playstation Home, Steam curators and I think there's a little bit about titties near the end.

I express the word 'western' in the most appropriate way possible with a game set in the Old West in which you do nothing but move west. So sit back and enjoy the trailblazing adventures of Farmer Yahrtzee and four versions of Gabriel from parallel universes as we attempt to overcome humanity's greatest enemy: bushes you can't shoot through..

Gabriel plays a weird Japanese game about putting your lips on things that may or may not be porn, we never quite figure that out. While trying to ignore the weird vibration effect the emulator created, we talk about Hatsune Miku and other shit and YES I KNOW we forgot to pick the next word on air again. So we picked one afterwards, and the word was 'answer'. Coo!

We're back from a one-week break to very didactically play two games that involve phones in some central way, and we also get very didactic about the trailers for Hatred and I Am Bread. What a right pair of didacts we are.

Gabriel had the word 'father', and so he chose a game that has 'father' in the title, what a cunning little spod. We then spend most of our time with it ignoring it completely while we debate which Game of Thrones character the protagonist most resembles.

We explore the word 'weed' to create a video that, ironically, you probably shouldn't watch while operating heavy machinery. We also talk about Star Wars, GTA5 and Pinhead's willy and somehow manage to keep it good and boring throughout.

I take a rather obvious route for the word 'arising' as we rattle unconcernedly through such topics as Shirtstorm, Steam Early Access, 2.5D shooters, disappearing beards and what exactly differentiates 'retro' from 'retro-style'.

OH BOLLOCKS we forgot to pick a word. It's alright, we did it off air: next week's word of the week is 'Tired'. Anyway, Gabriel prerecords us a video of that most improbable of shooter releases, recording the footage in teeny-tiny shitty-resolution-vision so blame him for that. Let's see if we can beat last week's misogyny record.

I play a very tired game about being asleep just to cover the bases, and because I wanted something that wouldn't distract too much from us getting all in a big froth about Target Australia refusing to stock GTAV, a discussion that goes to all the places you probably expect it to go.

It's back! With a small format change that means we don't have to work or think as much: now we just talk whatever bollocks we want over whatever game we feel like. In this case, Gabriel takes his first command in FTL: Faster Than Light. Who will survive and what will be left of them? (Fraps seems to have slightly buggered the in-game audio but I'm lost as to why)

It's recently been released on Steam, although I reviewed it ages ago when all the smart people played it; it's the remake of the classic space explorer. What better time to talk about Star Trek at length.

We play a relatively recent indie game as part of a half-hearted quest for relevance. Gabriel talks about Mortal Kombat a lot.

We use a new tarmac-based art program to draw a big willy and some titties, at which point small people start living on them for some reason. It's Cities: Skylines, the sim so nice they named it twice.

We take on the roles of petty authoritarians with a frighteningly tight grasp on a frighteningly small amount of power in the utterly unique paperwork-em-up by Lucas Pope. Also, Gabriel is a dog now. Woof.

We go into a game we don't know much about because some people seem to like it. Those people will probably find the next hour rather difficult.

We discuss a few of the developments from E3 as we fart around for an hour in Plant Groping Simulator 2015. Don't miss the amazing stegosaurus song and dance routine at the very end.

We kill an hour and a bit indulging all our childhood footballing fantasies that didn't involve bending Posh Spice over a clothes horse.

We do something a bit different with the low-tech bomb defusal party game that demands strong co-operation and the ability to quickly and articulately exchange knowledge. Oh blimey this won't end well.

Something a little bit different this week as we go from low-tech co-op to somehow even lower tech, to the point of not playing a video game at all, instead competing at reading aloud a sterling work of classic literature.

We had some questions left over from last time so we answered them while playing some nice wholesome entertainment about bleeding foetuses.

After I discover that Fraps also works on Firefox, we play an addictive browser game and metaphor for life in general while talking about The Game Awards 2015.

We finally do something retro-style again for want of something vaguely Christmassy to mark the season with. Yeah, I ended that sentence with a preposition, what're you gonna do about it?

We embrace the co-op mindset and attempt to get through some classic shooter action without humiliating ourselves. Dressed like Father Christmas.

We try out a new indie game based largely around maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and as perhaps could have been predicted, proceed to not do terribly well.

Happy new year! Here's something we recorded yonks ago and never got around to using.

Hot on the heels of XCOM fucking up on us, Resident Evil decided it was going to join the party. So we ditched it in favour of a movie tie-in game for the SNES that Gabriel seems to like.