Dracula is in town and the gang is effed up! Giles is feeling useless, Xander, Tara, and Riley are clearly jelly, and Buffy is shook that THE Dracula came all this way just to see her.

Who was that sibling imposter last episode!?!?!?! Well, we FINALLY find out! Dawn joins the show, but feels a little iced out of the action and SOOOO not part of the Scooby gang! Harmony tries and fails to lead her own gang, Giles turns tragedy into opportunity, and Joyce acts like kind of an asshole! Bad choice Joyce!

When Molly the Rave Demon thump-thump-thumps into Sunnydale, he immediately sets his sights on the Slayer. When he accidentally shoots Xander with his magic rod instead of Buffy, everyone’s worst nightmare (and maybe some people’s dream) comes true when Sunnydale finds itself with TWO Xanders roaming around! Rewatch, listen, & laugh as we cackle at Anya's perfect lines, Ash shares her own teenage Dawn moment, and we continue to narrow in on our respective types.

When Joyce has a scary medical thing happen, Dawn and Buffy rush to HIPAA Violation Memorial Hospital. Shit SEEMS okay for Joyce – at least according to the teenage intern? Dawn shows that SHE is the REAL teenage medical professional, when she discovers that Riley’s heart is acting like a fool and being all tachycardic and shit.

A new villain is in town and she's sexy, she's cute, she's popular to boot; but a foreign monk isn't too thrilled with her- maybe it's the torture of it all? Meanwhile, Buffy comes across a delicious looking glowing orb, and wonders WTF it is! Is it something dangerous? Is it related to Joyce's ongoing health issues?? Is it a beautiful cake topper!?

It's Tara's birthday, and NO ONE is excited - well, except for Willaralow! Buffy confides in her dad (Giles) about Dawn being an energy key and shit and he is flummoxed! Meanwhile, the nameless 'Bring it On' demon is on a RAMPAGE - ready to crush that koont that had the audacity to break her stiletto AND steal her monk. SO fucking rude! BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! Tara's family has come to Sunnydale, and they're a bunch of Ass-Mouths™! Rewatch, listen & laugh as Ash eats crow about Tara, Alaina expresses her unbridled rage about baby talk, and Mikie gets fired a second time!

When Buffy gets a little sloppy and gets impaled by her own stake while patrolling, she gets fixated on the final mistakes of her slayer predecessors. Books prove to be no help, but she heads to The Bronze with Spike to hear tales about the two slayers that HE killed.

Dreg the Melting Goblin comes to town bearing gifts and FINALLY graces us with the nameless ‘Bring-It-On’ Demon's name. She summons the most adorable monsters we've ever seen, and sends it on a mission to find the key! Meanwhile Joyce gets distressing news at HIPAA Violation Memorial Hospital, and Buffy and Dawn reel from the shock. Riley continues to be bitch-made, making assumptions instead of being legitimately helpful.

Joyce’s tumor is being an asshole and making her have jarring outbursts; some are mean, some are strange – and others, well, they’re spicy AF giving off some NC-17 vibes! HIPAA Violation Memorial Hospital does EXACTLY what we’d expect and sends Joyce home to rest before surgery. Meanwhile a turdy demon arrives to Sunnydale nestled inside a meteor that crashes into the nearby woods. Speaking of plummeting to the ground, our golden corn fed king, Riley, enters his villain era— or at least his bitch-made one!

Welp...we have some good news and some bad news. The good news? Joyce's surgery was a HUGE success and she's dabbling in plastic dream hair! The bad news? Riley has reached his final “bitch-made form” and MAN, it's tough to watch!

Giles is heading to England to chat with those assholes at the Watchers Council and get some piping hot British T on Glory. Meanwhile, Buffy is doing her best to be strong through the “cornfed failure” of it all, and Xander is DONE being the Judge Judy of Anya and Willow’s relentless bickering.