Your Favorite Martian

Santa Hates Poor Kids (1x22)

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I really hate it that my family’s poor! I really wish I was a rich kid. ’Cause they always get all the pimped gifts for Christmas. Did I get a new Xbox? Fat chance! While Billy gets a new pony and a lap dance. Plus a tree house mansion and a jet ski. How the hell did he get a pterodactyl? Gets me! I thought Christmas was awesome, on and poppin. ’Till Jan got a slave and Google stock options. And I don’t think you understand how it feels. To see another kid roll up in his Bentley Power Wheels like: “Look at my new ride; Santa just bought it. He didn’t get you nothing ‘cause your mom’s an alcoholic.” He’s right I got some underwear used by my brother. I’m like Oliver Twist, “Please may I have another?” I opened up a present, and found an eviction notice! Man, fuck you Santa! We’re spending Christmas with the homeless! [Chorus] Santa must hate the poor kids. ‘Cause Santa only hangs with the rich, come on. Santa Hates Poor Kids. Santa Hates Poor Kids. And if you ain’t got money then he ain’t coming. Nothing under your tree tonight! And all I got was a charm bracelet with no charms. And a discharged G.I. Joe with no arms. And a drunk step dad. Man, I hate it here! And mom got some cigarettes and half a case of beer. We’re too poor for Christmas music. We A capella! And our Christmas tree is just a busted umbrella. With a bunch of junk glued to it. This shit is useless! And Ravi said: Santa also hates you if you’re Jewish. [Chorus] Santa must hate the poor kids. ‘Cause Santa only hangs with the rich, sing it. Santa Hates Poor Kids. Santa Hates Poor Kids. And if you ain’t got money then he ain’t coming. Nothing under your tree tonight! Santa Hates Poor Kids. Fuck you Santa! You fat motherfucker! How’d you get so big? You been drinking butter? Always acting jolly, I ain’t buying into that. And why you always trying to get kids to sit on your lap? I heard you touch Scottish