RiffTrax Shorts

Superjock (2024x11)

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Superjock is a look back at a simpler time, when workout clothes didn’t need to “breathe” or “weigh less than twenty pounds” and doctors argued about which brand of cigarettes to recommend. We first meet Jim, who was once a high school jock but has spent every moment since speedrunning “needing quadruple bypass surgery.” Jim’s diet appears to have mirrored The Guy From Harlem’s room service order for about two decades, but now it’s time to get in shape. How is this going to happen? Perhaps by imitating Vic, a man who, based on his haircut and facial hair, was last seen heading up a polygamist sect in 1877. Vic has started eating healthier, cutting back on drinking, and exercising. The result is about what you’d expect: every day is agony. He’s extended his lifespan by years, but with every bite of grapefruit or iceberg lettuce, he wonders “Is this misery worth it?” It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a man getting winded while searching for his ashtray!