RiffTrax

Cyclone (1x389)

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What do a group of tourists on a glass-bottomed boat, passengers on a plane with the most hideous 70s seats imaginable, some guys on a fishing boat that’s vaguely hunting “treasure,” and a little dog named Christmas have in common? They all have the misfortune of finding themselves in a René Cardona Jr. movie called Cyclone! René Cardona Jr. was the filmmaker behind Beaks, The Bermuda Triangle, Treasure of the Amazon, and Zindy the Swamp Boy. So Cyclone being one of his movies is a mark of… well, it’s a mark. The titular storm strikes early in the film, and from there it’s a tale of survival at sea for all kinds of unlikeable characters. There’s the beefy tour boat captain, the rich woman with the little dog, and the upsetting red-faced capitalist who’s more cigarette than man (played by Lionel Stander). Trapped with few resources and little hope for survival, will they learn that the most dangerous storm of all is… themselves??? (Yeah, they will.) Fair warning: as you might expect