RiffTrax

The One Man Band: Mortal Kombat (4x17)

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Do you remember all the love and giddiness that broke out after Super Mario Bros. and Street Fighter came out? No, not the video games, the movies. Wait, I'm sorry I mentioned those. Stop crying, please, I didn't mean it. Anyway, as Mortal Kombat shows, no beloved video game property is safe from the reach of Hollywood. The spine-ripping, head-popping, ESRB-creating fighting game series comes to the movies with a PG-13 rating...not because they toned down the violence, but to spare young children from the ham thrown onscreen by a powder-wigged Christopher Lambert (who clearly was born to play a Chinese thunder god). The One Man Band once again rolls up his sleeves, throws a few well-timed kicks*, and sends this monster back to Outworld where it belongs. At the end, only one of these titans will be left standing. Place your bets now. *Yes, I am fully aware that I could have made so many Balls of Fury jokes. However, Christopher Walken has been seen in my neighborhood lately, and I'd prefer to avoid his wrath.** **If Christopher Walken is reading this, hello. I'm sure you're a very nice guy. Please don't kill me.