RiffTrax

The Phantom Ship by Toast and Rice (4x720)

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Throughout the history of mankind, young men have heard the Call of the Sea, beckoning them to travel across the globe and find their fortune. And as long as there have been young men to hear the Call of the Sea, the echoed reply has been: "Are you kidding me?!? Live on some leaky old boat with a bunch of smelly dudes? For, like, practically no money? For months? With no women? Are you high?" And thus, as long as the Call of the Sea has been ignored by young lads who, seriously, could think of probably a thousand other things they'd rather do (because, c'mon, those guys bathe, what, maybe once a month?), ship captains have impressed men into service at sea against their will. Join one such voyage, a journey on a whiskey schooner from New York to the Italian coast, frought with danger and intrigue, murder and deceit, and Bela Lugosi dressed as a one-armed Buster Brown.