RiffTrax

Safely Walk to School (3x474)

: 20, 2024

Grady and Lori need to get to school. Unfortunately, dangers abound along their walking route: radio controlled cars, breakdancers, the Grim Reaper. Sorry, those are the dangers that abound in the 80s video game Paperboy. These kids deal with antique stores or something, it’s way less cool. Lori owns a Heathcliff lunchbox, yet neglects to implement such basic safety techniques as employing The Garbage Ape for protection, or wearing a helmet that says “HAM”.* Grady, on the other hand, carries a red playground ball, though he is still at least twenty years away from joining an Adult Kickball League as a flimsy excuse to binge drink on a weeknight. Can they make it to school safely in time for their spelling test? Or will their skin be flayed from their bodies in a horrific ice cream truck accident? Find out, you sickos, in Safely Walk To School!