RiffTrax

Danger Keep Out! (3x171)

: 13, 2012

Danger Keep Out! is not just the sign any Taco Bell that carries the new taco whose shell is made of a giant Dorito is legally required to display. It’s also the name of one of the finest Canadian safety epics ever produced. One day, Christine decides to explore the construction site next to her house with her friend Mario, mostly as an excuse to escape her brother Ricky, whose default setting is “high-pitched whine” (a bold vocal technique later made popular by Bon Iver.) Christine and Mario have fun climbing on equipment, scaling ladders and leaping into piles of granular substances which likely rendered both of them sterile. Of course, all this fun comes to a horrific end when Christine sets a trap for Mario and he has a terrible accident (that’s actually what happens.) It’s then up to Ricky to save the day, which he does by lying to his parents faces and teaming up with a kid who looks like a less suave Steve Urkel. Like Shake Hands With Danger but instead of a folksy narrator, you have one that is sometimes made of clay, Danger Keep Out! is one warning sign not worth heeding! Previous quote designed to pander for prominent placement on the box cover of Danger Keep Out! VHS edition.