RiffTrax

Following Instructions Game (3x73)

: 23, 2010

Kids love to play games. It is an indisputable fact, much like the existence of former Yankee outfielder Oscar Gamble. But for a while, the only two games kids had to play were "Push a Hoop with a Stick" and "Hide Benjamin Franklin's whiskey." For obvious reasons, (in order: "This game blows" and "Getting sat on by a furious Benjamin Franklin"), kids eventually needed new games to play. Enter Hungry, Hungry Hippos. For centuries, it was rightly regarded as the pinnacle of game-dom and children the world over entered the "Race" (and/or "Chase") to "hurry up and feed their face." However, recent revisionist history has begun to shift this perception, and a challenger to the throne is now regarded by some academics to be the greatest game of all time: The Following Instructions Game. "How do you play," you ask? Simple..you do what adults tell you. "But wait," you say, "that doesn't sound like a game at all. It sounds like a thinly veiled scheme to get our stupider children to shut up and do what we want." And you would be right. But that didn't stop the makers of The Following Instructions Game from spending their substantial budget on a short film to convince children that Following Instructions could be just as fun as actually having fun. And oh what fun it is, as our hero, a dimwitted lad who is prone to coming into contact with wet paint, takes a clock to a repair shop before buying a loaf of bread! And there's an odd old man who speaks in rhyme! (Note: It is not Slick Rick, though that would have been awesome.)