The Hooneymooners: The Classic 39

Trixie tells Alice that she and Ed are getting a new TV set to replace their old one. Alice is envious and Trixie tells her to give Ralph the 'pipe and slipper' routine to butter him up. Alice's behavior is so unusual for her that Ralph is immediately suspicious. When Ralph finds out the reason behind this he refuses to buy a TV set. It soon becomes apparent that Alice will not let the issue drop and Ralph is forced to deal with it. Ralph and Norton concoct a scheme to pool their money together and buy one set and share it.

Counterfeiters have lost a suitcase of 'funny money' and have to wait 30 days to retrieve it. Once 30 days have elapsed it becomes the property of the person who found it...Ralph Kramden. When he discovers the contents of the case he goes on a wild spending spree despite Alice's warnings that this doesn't seem right. It isn't long before the gangsters come calling for their loot.

Ralph wants to be named the new Assistant Traffic Manager at the bus terminal. This is a promotion he feels he has worked hard for and he deserves. In order to ensure it he needs to get in good with Mr. Harper, the man in charge. Harper and Ralph strike up a conversation and with Noton's help he finds himself with a date to play golf...of course Ralph knows nothing about the game of golf.

Alice is so tired of Ralph's complaining about the housework not getting done that she decides to hire themselves a maid while she goes off to get a job herself.

When he sees the vet's report on his mother-in-law's sick dog, Ralph mistakenly concludes that he has only six months to live.

When Norton's sleepwalking through Ralph's apartment disturbs Ralph one time too many, Ralph decides to get to the root of Norton's trouble.

Ralph's newest get-rich-quick scheme is to sell an all-purpose kitchen gadget. With Norton's assistance, Ralph plans to demonstrate it during a live TV commercial, in order to reach more potential buyers. But Ralph's last-minute stage fright may ruin the commercial. Features a rare gone-wrong moment when one of the gadgets flies off the handle, forcing Gleason to retrieve it and then ad-lib his way back into the scene.

A ring that was intended for Norton's new supervisor in the sewer, but that instead gets stuck on Ralph's finger accidentally, is all it takes to jeopardize Ralph's friendship with Norton... until an explosion in the sewer brings Ralph to his senses.

Because of a suggestion he made, Ralph gets laid off. While they're trying to figure out how to cope with the bills, Alice decides to go back to work over Ralph's objections. The real trouble starts when Ralph finds out who has to do the house work, and when Alice's boss comes to the apartment to pick her up.

Ralph is none too pleased when they receive a telegram from Alice's mother telling them that she is coming for a visit. Ralph is convinced that his mother-in-law hates him. She is constantly making jokes about his weight and never fails to mention how Alice would be better off had she married someone else. Ralph decides to move in with the Nortons for the duration. Only problem is that he didn't quite read the telegram correctly.

Ralph blames Norton when he loses an election for Raccoon Lodge convention manager by one vote.

Ralph and Norton want to go fishing with their fellow lodge members, but without their wives, who, meanwhile, won't stand for such treatment.

Ralph sells his bowling ball to get a last-minute Christmas present for Alice.

Ralph is determined to win a prize of $50 at the Raccoon Lodge costume. When he competes with Norton in the contest and Alice will have nothing to do with loaning her husband any money to rent a costume, Ralph is forced to make a homemade costume.

Ralph, throws Alice's mother, out of the apartment but, Alice soon followed. In a last ditch effort, to save their marriage, Ralph cuts a record to apologize to Alice. Also reluctantly, to her mother.

Ralph feigns illness to avoid visiting his mother-in-law. Then the pain gets real: he injures his back bowling.

When Alice has a telephone installed, Ralph feels threatened both by her newfound freedom and the prospect of another bill to pay.

Ralph's out to prove himself to Alice, his neighborhood, and the world when he becomes a contestant on a hit television game show

Norton invests in Kramden, Inc. and thinks he's about to get rich after Ralph is named in someone's will. Naturally, Norton wants his share, too.

After a visit from some teenagers, Alice feels that she and Ralph are starting to get old. She wants Ralph to take her out for some youthful activities, starting with roller-skating.

Ralph thinks he's found a great idea for a new food product, not realizing it's actually dog food.

Ralph nearly ruins the imminent marriage between a fellow Raccoon Lodge member and Alice's sister, Agnes after he provides some advice to the groom. This episode contains a veiled reference to Willie Mays, who was, by then reaching the peak of his baseball career. Ralph says that, out of habit, Alice's sister caught the bouquet herself. Alice says it was because her foot slipped to which Ralph responds, "If my foot could slip like that, I'd be playing Center Field for the New York Giants."

The Kramdens and the Nortons are at war with a rent increase of $5, though the only one who really wants to fight is Ralph.

Alice tries to surprise Ralph for his birthday, but her plans are ruined because of his jealousy.

After Alice finds Ralph's old cornet in the basement, Ralph remembers lost career chances, and feels discouraged. But a visit from a kindly, elderly millionaire couple who used to live in the apartment, shows Ralph that he is still young enough to pursue new opportunities. With Norton's help, Ralph makes a list of all his strong and weak points so that he can correct his faults and become a success

After boasting that he is the boss of his household, Ralph accepts a bet that he can command Alice to cook a special dinner.

Ralph goes into a panic when he gets a letter from the Internal Revenue Service ordering that he appear at their office the next morning, fearing that the IRS is investigating him for income tax evasion.

Ralph witnesses a murder and arrives home a nervous wreck. And for good reason: the killers are after him.

Thinking he is about to be named Raccoon of the Year, Ralph prepares an acceptance speech.

In order to raise money for the Raccoon Lodge, the lodge members decide to put on a play, and hire a professional director, Mr. Faversham, to direct it. Ralph is given the lead and Alice is given the female lead. Ralph starts "seeing stars" when he learns that Faversham's friend, Hollywood producer Herbert J. Whiteside, is in town looking to cast his new picture and will be attending the play's opening night.

Ralph gets a chance to impress his boss and earn a promotion, but Norton gets the job instead.

Ralph and Norton are sure to be a riot at the annual Raccoon convention... if they ever manage to get out of Norton's "trick" handcuffs.

Ralph wins an award as the safest bus driver in the city, but gets into an accident on the way to the award ceremony.

Norton loses his job in the sewer and starts selling steam irons door-to-door. Ralph, convinced of Norton's success, wants to do the same.

Alice and Trixie feel that their husbands don't notice them any longer. And it doesn't help when they see Ralph and Norton being attentive to the glamorous new wife of Ralph's boss. Alice then decides to imitate her in order to regain Ralph's attention.

Ralph (with Norton's help) inadvertently challenges a tough guy to a boxing match.

Ralph decides to save some money by becoming the new building janitor, but quickly finds out there's more to the job than he thought.

When Ralph runs into one of Alice's old boyfriends, he pretends to run the Gotham Bus Company to impress him. When the guy sees Ralph again, he recites to him a poem that was meant to be a jab at Ralph's weight when they were younger: "Some kids are small and some kids are tall, but Fatso Kramden is the only kid who walks down the hall...wall-to-wall."