Tonight, against a backdrop of indifferent fields, the divisive cooks announce their intention to "get out the posh china and put on a right hairy tea". A euphemism? If only. Alas, they are merely creating slightly unusual versions of "the classic high tea", such as sprinkling some cinnamon in a Victoria sandwich. Among the clouds of cornflour and innuendo, we may discern the following: a visual joke involving an unsettlingly thick cucumber and an argument over the correct pronunciation of the word scone.
