This week: Yes everyone, it's time to find out what things went in what holes for reasons no one can fathom, as well as probably the most baffling Goatwatch conclusion we've had since we started watching Gävle for the holidays ...

This week: The party doesn't stop on New Years Day! Why not spice it up with a little nude breaking and entering? Also this week, the worst way anyone has ever attempted to get out of jury duty and somebody done gone swimming in the Bass Pro Shop aquarium again ...

This week: There's going back to the scene of the crime, and then there's going back of the scene of the crime to do the same crime again! Also this week, what happens when your horrible pick up lines result in federal charges and when the boss says "go fill the skid loader with gas" they don't mean "go joust against the police in a Home Depot parking lot" ...

This week: You ever get so bored you go out and tape a fish to every single ATM in town? Also this week, maybe don't call in a bomb threat on a phone you just found in the Walmart bathroom and watching porn in a Waffle House parking lot leads to a robber getting scattered, smothered, covered, and busted ...

This week: If you're gonna steal a car, maybe don't snag the one that's behind two inches of tempered glass. Also this week, who knew you could rob a bank just by asking nicely and if you say "bomb" on the plane then as a treat you get to see some F18's really up close ...

This week: Want to buy a brand new Porsche in Florida? Just make a cashier's check in Photoshop, nobody cares! Also this week, threatening to commit a felony against your ex just because she turned off your Netflix password and the latest in customer advocacy: driving back to the store in a freaking tank!

This week: Ever wanted to just give up and drive into the ocean? One man did! Also this week, an indecency suspect finds that lube is also great for escaping handcuffs and one cop's epic gun battle against a single acorn ...

This week: Recycling is a great idea, but when it comes to recycling Valentine's gifts from someone else's lawn it's less great. Also this week, maybe calling the cops to investigate a burglary at your criminal base of operations is a bad call, and if you're gonna steal a car, why not steal ten Corvettes at the same time?

This week: If at first you completely fail to con a car dealership out of millions, try try again! Also this week, we discover how competitive Christmas tree tossing can get you tossed off of a disability scam, and maybe if your current boyfriend wants you to graffiti his ex's police car you should look for a new boyfriend ...

This week: Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is 14 counts of arson for setting your apartment bathroom on fire. Also this week, a man trying to steal a self-driving car doesn't understand that he's already failed and how to ensure you'll never ever get to rent a car for the rest of your life ...

This week: Did you think all those town council meeting on "Parks and Rec" were made up? Not exactly. Also there are some things you should leave to the professionals ... like arson! And all it takes is a car and some recreational substances to become Bad Driver Batman ...

This week: Do you really need to impersonate a federal officer just to harass a Waffle House? Also this week, just because you swore to tell the whole truth doesn't mean you have to tell the WHOLE truth and if you're going to ride around with an entire pharmacy in your trunk maybe practice a little defensive driving ...

This week: A man tries to stowaway on a flight by trying to steal a little girl's seat just so he wouldn't have to fly standby, a gaggle of tow truck drivers have an all out brawl at the McDonald's and if you love weird stuff going in wrong holes we have a helluva show for you ...

This week: Monkey gangs in Thailand lead to police crackdowns and arrests (you heard me), a FedEx driver makes a special delivery to one customer's living room the hard way, and "volunteer firefighter" doesn't mean "owns your own garden hose" and "gets to call dibs" ...

This week: How is it that not only do we have another 9 year old stealing a car, but this time it's actually for a reason that makes sense? Also this week, we give you a reason to never drink from a fountain again and if you're going to fake your death, maybe "to get out of child support" is a bad reason ...

This week: Usually when you rob a museum, you don't actually take the museum with you. Also this week, a tow truck tries to cut out the "parking" part of the operation and a police chase almost turns into a Thelma and Louise reboot ...

This week: Hey, what could possibly be suspicious about a lottery ticket that's been taped together? Also trying to flag down help by shooting a gun on the side of the road is surprisingly ineffective, and pulling baby bears out of trees for a selfie: what could go wrong?

This week: the cat came back the very next day ... because they accidentally shipped it to Amazon! Also this week, if you're going to be driving contraband you should probably know how the passing lane works and how do you file a noise complaint on a billion cicadas?

This week: Linkara joins us for a monster in a child's closet turning out to be fifty thousand bees, we find our just how good the cell service is inside the human colon and "going green" doesn't mean driving away from the scene of an accident with a tree lodged in your truck ...

This week: Tractors are great for many tasks, but they're not very good precision murder weapons. Also this week, a panda exhibit at a Chinese zoo seems a little bit off and I don't think the Curse of the Bambino involved a forklift ...

This week: One crook on the run ends up both bounty hunted and Bounty-soft, why gasoline is strictly an "outside" toy and if everybody jumped in the lake, would oh wait yup I guess you would ...

This week: stealing flowers from graves is one thing, but trying to go on the run over it? Also this week, when you punch an old man and he takes your picture it's not because he thinks you're cute, and good lord son, if you burn down the Krispy Kreme at least have a REASON ...

This week: One man somehow finds the time to make twelve THOUSAND harassing phone calls to Congress, a teacher is irritated that his fifth grade class didn't appreciate his "slave auction" demonstration and the story about North Korea's newest airborne weapon system might smell a little funny, but it's for real ...

This week: Does a Phish fan smoke in the woods? No, but they do in the Sphere! Also this week, new and illegal uses for a Stanley cup and when you stage a surprise mock shooting with real gunfire at a bunch of teens "It's just a prank bro" won't cut it, officer ...

This week: When face with spicy ramen, the nation of Denmark announces they can't hang. Also this week, we find out just how many lewd acts you can perform in a Kroger before you get your badge and gun taken away and if you leave your unlocked Lamborghini in an airport parking lot with the keys inside, was it really stolen?

This week: If you break into an unlocked bank and don't find anything to steal, does it make a sound? Also this week, we find the one guy left on earth who hasn't put his phone on vibrate (and so do the cops), and parkour YouTubers make history by destroying some of it ...

This week: Two all beef patties? How about a naked lady putting two all red bricks through a McDonald's window? Also this week, the scientists have given robots flesh and you know they ain't making Terminators, and one woman steals a government relief check and puts it right into her butt. No, not like that.