Shelf Life

Happy Kwanzaa, motherfuckers! What? Not so familiar with Kwanzaa? Well let the Shelf Life gang teach you all about it! And along the way let them fill you with Christmas spirit and joy for all mankind. And just in time for the end of the world!

Welcome to Season 4! With Bug Boy strapped to an M-80, Hero Lass in "the Program," Samurai Snake drowning in his sorrows in the local cantina and Hero Man... well, being heroically inappropriate as usual, our trusty toys embark on their biggest adventure yet, an adventure that will take them off the shelf and into... the unknown! Stay tuned, True Believers! This season is guaranteed to shelf you in the face!

Four figgaz in a tub! This week the gang embarks on a perilous nautical voyage and soon find themselves in too deep! Check out earlier episodes of SHELF LIFE at http://www.ShelfLifeSeries.com with new Season 4 episodes premiering every Tuesday!!!

On a very special episode of Shelf Life... In torturing the sleeping Kid do our heroes actually come to a deeper understanding of him? Do they even, dare we say, begin to feel for him? Does Hero Man finally do something heroic?

Hero Man's gone missing, and the rest of the gang wonders where he could be. But upon his return, his tales of prison, sadistic cellmates, and, well, what happens to new guys in prison, leave them wishing they could forget. As usual, NFSFW. Unless you work somewhere really cool.

After a new Hero Lass action figure commercial sends HL into a crazed conniption, her concerned cohorts conceive a clever contrivance to console her... Also, Snake gets some! Also, our first attempt at nudity! Remember, there are some things, once seen, that you'll never be able to unsee... And that goes double for this episode's shawarma, so be sure to watch to the very end!

When The Kid gets a new toy at Sunday School, the Shelf gets a little old time religion. Or at least Hero Man does. But will he make a great disciple? Watch and see! This episode is definitely NSFC!

The Kid sets up our intrepid "heroes" in the backyard for a little harmless target practice, but there's no full metal jacket to keep them warm in this Hanoi Hilton because war is hell, this is no Hamburger Hill, and the fact that the casualties of war in this platoon were not born on the fourth of July is a bright and shining lie.

When the shelf gets a new action figure in a box, the question becomes, "To open, or not to open." Experience the collector's dilemma on today's episode of Shelf Life!

When our heroes go wilding one night in a stolen vehicle, their shenanigans end in MURDER! Someone knows their secret, someone knows they're scared, and someone knows what they did last Thursday! And this secret may kill them all! Remember, if you're going to run over the truth, make sure it... stays... runned over. And will The Reaper be there to pick up the pieces...? Hang on to your ballsacks, True Believers!

In the first episode of our action-packed 2-part Season 4 finale our intrepid "heroes" seem to have earned themselves a little vacation... a vacation in ZOMBIETOWN! When The Reaper's zombie minions attack unexpectedly it looks like it's the Toy Box in the Sky for our favorite figgaz. Who will save them!? Tune in and see!

Unholy alliances! Ghosts of episodes past! Epic showdowns! Kung fu! Afro sheen! Nutshots! Love! Romance! Humiliation! Boobs! Bindlesticks! ...and new adventures??